The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
The line graph depicts the proportion of
people
living in cities in four
countries
in Asia over the 50-year period between 1970 and 2020, with anticipation for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that the percentage of the
popualtion
Correct your spelling
population
in all
countries
is projected to rise.
Furthermore
, at the
beginnig
Correct your spelling
beginning
of the period,
Indonesia
had the lowest
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
. In 1970, the proportion of the
popualtion
Correct your spelling
population
living in cities in
Indonesia
stood at around 12%, lower than the other three
countries
.
While
at the same year,
this
figure for Malaysia was responsible for 30%. For the next 50 years, the percentage of
people
inhabiting
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
towns in
Indonesia
and Malaysia rose
subtantially
Correct your spelling
substantially
to approximately 50% and 72%, respectively. It is expected that the prospective figures for
Indonesia
and Malaysia will witness an increase and reach about 60% and 81% in 2040. Turning to
Correct article usage
the Philipines
show examples
Philipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
show examples
and
Thailand
, in 1970,
people
who lived in cities in
Correct article usage
the Philipines
show examples
Philipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
show examples
accounted for nearly 32%,
while
this
figure for
Thailand
was just under 20%. Over the following 50 years, both both
countries
experienced a rise in their
people
's population living in towns and the percentage of the
popualtion
Correct your spelling
population
Philipines
rose to just above 42% and the figure for
Thailand
climbed to
closely
Change the word
close
show examples
30
Change preposition
to 30
show examples
%. By 2040, the prospective figures for
Correct article usage
the Philipines
show examples
Philipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
show examples
and
Thailand
will have been about 50% and 45%.
Submitted by ielts7683 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, countries, indonesia, philipines, thailand with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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