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Band 2.5

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shop using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will be happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

#future #people #shop #cash #payments #card #phones
methods of payment have changed over time and have taken various ways rather than
cash
. many people argue that
cash
 will not be needed anymore and will be replaced by bank
cards
 or mobile phone applications.
although
 some people will not be
satisified
Correct your spelling
satisfied
 with the new methods of payment, I think these alternative ways will be widely used in the future but
cash
 will still be used. on one hand, Payments by
cards
Fix the agreement mistake
card
show examples
 and phone applications will continue to expand
dut
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
 to their ease of use,
accessabilty
Correct your spelling
accessibility
 and safety.
most
Capitalize word
Most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals will use
cards
 to pay for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 amenities as they are more
easey
Correct your spelling
easy
 to use.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
 banks
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
 their
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 more
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 if they pay using
theri
Correct your spelling
their
cards
.
also
, banks try to provide the maximum security to protect their customer's money.
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
 many shops create mobile applications to make shopping and buying through mobile
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more flexible and
attrctive
Correct your spelling
attractive
.
for instance
, amazon which is one of the most well-known
application
Change to a plural noun
applications
show examples
 worldwide,
on the other hand
, many people argue that
cash
 will still be needed. cyber
haking
Correct your spelling
hacking
show examples
 is a major
problems
Change the noun form
problem
show examples
 regarding saving money in banks.
Submitted by haderabouslema93 on

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Grammar and Spelling
There are several spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'dut' should be 'due,' 'accessabilty' should be 'accessibility,' and 'costumers' should be 'customers.' Make sure to proofread your essay carefully.
Cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the overall flow of the essay. This will help in making your arguments more coherent and easier to follow.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples and explanations. For instance, explain why some people might not feel comfortable using digital payments, like fear of technology or lack of access to it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a more robust conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position. This will make your essay feel more complete and well-structured.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well by discussing both the potential for a cashless society and concerns people might have about this shift.
Relevance
You have provided reasons for why digital payments might become more popular in the future, such as convenience and security, which are relevant and effective points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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