IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#trips #children #country #travel #school #modes #transport #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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TThe bar chart illustrators the amount of trips by kids
in particular
 country in 1990 and 2010 from different modes for
transport
 to travel to and from school .
Overall
 , in 1990 walking was the most favoured mode of
transport
 followed by the
bus
 , cycling , walking and
bus
 , and
car
passenger
 .
On the other hand
 , in 2010 the most favoured mode of
transport
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
passenger
 followed by walking ,
bus
 , walking and
bus
 and cycling . in 1990 , most kids used walking as the mode of
transport
 to school with about 12
million
 trips recorded ,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
car
passenger
 were the lowest at
slighlty
Correct your spelling
slightly
 over 4
million
 people ,
however
 in 2010 the number of
car
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
show examples
 increased noticeably to about 11
million
 people as travel to and from school ,
in addition
 , cycling
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the lowest with 2
million
 trips recorded ,
furthermore
 , walking , cycling , walking and
bus
 , and
bus
Add an article
the bus
a bus
show examples
 has dramatically
deacreased
Correct your spelling
decreased
 compared to 1990.
Submitted by saeedseheim on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words transport, bus, car, passenger, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trips
  • children
  • modes of transport
  • walk
  • cycle
  • public transport
  • drive
  • car
  • trends
  • decrease
  • increase
  • shift
  • convenient
  • comfortable
  • commuting
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • significant
  • indicate
  • reasons
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • 20-year period
  • doubled
  • considerable margin
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