Children are facing more pressure nowadays from an academic, social and commercial perspective. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressure #perspective #pressures #measures

The debate of how many pressures aspects young generation has to deal with nowadays. Has become a major concern in today's world.

This

essay will discuss the primary causes of

this

problem and suggest some potential solutions to address it. There are many causes in a variety of ways that could impact children in today's world.

Such

as academic

pressure

and social life,

also

a commercial perspective. All of these can put huge

pressure

kids

This

can

resulted

Change the verb form

result

show examples

in many problems, like isolation, depression, and high

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

of stress.

Therefore

it could lead to physical illness.

Such

as heat diseases and obesity.

For example

, a recent government survey found that 68% of children have depression and anxiety

due to

all kinds of pressures that they experience today. To address these issues. One effective solution could be a government-led awareness campaign on social media and

schools

Change preposition

in schools

show examples

. To educate both parents and

kids

about the potential risks of

pressure

In addition

, parents should help their

kids

and talk to them so they can express their feelings.

Moreover

, planning physical activities

such

as running or swimming for children to relieve stress.

For instance

, a similar action in Japan resulted in a 49% decrease in

pressure

. these solutions can actually help our

kids

manage their stress in a better way. In conclusion, schools and social life alongside with commercial. Can be a huge

pressure

kids

However

, it can be tackled through educating people about the dangers of these aspects.

Submitted by reem.rz112 on Wed Aug 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph naturally transitions into the next and that the ideas are connected coherently.

task achievement

Expand and elaborate on your main points with more concrete examples and specific details. This will help in making your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Refine your introduction and conclusion. Make sure the introduction clearly outlines what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points while providing a final perspective.

task achievement

The essay addresses the given topic and discusses both the causes of pressures on children and potential solutions, demonstrating an understanding of the task.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively wraps up the discussion and reiterates the main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic competition
globalized economy
rigorous testing
social media
peer pressure
comparisons
aggressive marketing tactics
culture of consumerism
parental expectations
standardized testing
holistic approaches
life skills
creative subjects
digital literacy
critical thinking
social media pressures
supportive environments
regulating advertising
consumerism
material possessions
values of contentment and self-worth
open channels of communication
mental health education
readily available resources

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Children are facing more pressure nowadays from an academic, social and commercial perspective. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Word Count

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

The tendency of news reporters in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing sof skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.