Children from age 7-11 now spend more time watching television and/or playing vedio games than before. What are the effects of this on children, families and society? What are the possible solutions to this problems?
These days,
thechnology
has been developing immediately, so we can see a number of Correct your spelling
technology
children
spend their time
on electronical
gadgets. Correct your spelling
electronic
This
essay discuss
Change the verb form
discusses
about
the effect of Remove the preposition
apply
this
problem on Societies and how can we solve it.
This
issues like other things have several Correct determiner usage
These
influience
Correct your spelling
influence
influences
in
society, Change preposition
on
children
, and families
like the communities which have these children
's population cannot improve and these families
have
not perfect free Add a missing verb
do have
time
. On the one hand, these children
who not only playing
a lot of video Wrong verb form
play
gams
but Correct your spelling
games
also
watching
too Wrong verb form
watch
much movie
will become Fix the agreement mistake
many movies
adult
and they are Fix the agreement mistake
adults
main
population who can Change the article
the main
hence
their countries while
these people do not have benefitial
skills owing to the fact that they spend the whole Correct your spelling
beneficial
time
on things that do not have merits. On the other hand
, if families
have these children
, parents can work more than
and have a lot of Change preposition
apply
time
for themselve
; Correct your spelling
themselves
nevertheless
, these kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
families
are
not Verb problem
do
getting
travel to other places Verb problem
apply
due to
the fact that laptops are essential
factor for their kids.
Add an article
an essential
This
matters can Correct determiner usage
These
be solve
with Change the verb form
be solved
families
and governments. On the one side, it is important that parents have limited time
for using TV and PC for their chilren
; Correct your spelling
children
moreover
, when children
d
not follow it, they have to do Correct your spelling
do
works
that they do not likeWrong verb form
work
them
. On the other sides, I advise that Correct pronoun usage
apply
athourities
build Correct your spelling
authorities
Add an article
a website
website
which Fix the agreement mistake
websites
recored
the Correct your spelling
record
time
of internet that children
use; furthermore
, if they use more than the time
that they set, they won't have other pastime
in their institutes. Change the wording
another pastime
other pastimes
In addition
, primery
schools must Correct your spelling
primary
providea
range of entertainments that help Correct your spelling
provide a
provide
children
to spend their time
one
Correct your spelling
on
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
things
.
Change to a singular noun
thing
To conclude
, the influction
demerits of movies and Correct your spelling
inflexion
infliction
vedio
games are so much in Correct your spelling
video
young
generation and when we have to Correct article usage
the young
palns
for change them; Correct your spelling
plan
therefor
, it is Correct your spelling
therefore
crusial
that Correct your spelling
crucial
families
and athourities
have Correct your spelling
authorities
schedual
Correct your spelling
schedule
for
alter them.Change preposition
to
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but more specific examples and clearer ideas are needed to fully cover the scope of the task. Try to elaborate on each main point with precise and detailed examples. For instance, discuss specific ways technology usage may hinder the development of social skills or physical health.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, the transitions between paragraphs and linking sentences can be improved for better flow. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and ends with a concluding sentence that relates back to the main topic.
task achievement
You've done well to identify that both families and governments have roles to play in solving the problem. This adds depth to your analysis and shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps frame your essay effectively. Both should be expanded and made more specific for higher clarity and impact.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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