IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows two different processes for manufacturing black tea. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature. and make the comparison where relevant.

The diagram below shows two different processes for manufacturing black tea. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature. and make the comparison where relevant.
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The given graph illustrates how black tea , which we use, is produced in 2 various ways.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, It is important that 2 several black teas, which the popular drinks, generation pass 4 stages that are started by the farm and ended by drying.
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the picture, In the beginning, farmers, pick up tea leaves, which have 2 different types that have good quality;
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 they send them to a level the name is withering
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
level
Add a comma
level,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in this level. Consider adding a comma.

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 a device generates wind, that passes on the leaves on the rack
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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 and leaves lose 60% of their moisture. The map demonstrates that in the third
level
Add a comma
level,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in the third level. Consider adding a comma.

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 we have 2 diverse manufacturers. On the one hand, in modern one leaves are cut, torn, and curled;
thereafter
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we have small pieces.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in traditional ones leaves roll on the flat and break, so their sections are larger than the prior type. Later tea leaves react
by
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 enzymes and Air;
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, their color is changed.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, heating these leaves the oven to lose the whole of the water and become the thing that we use it.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • withering
  • moisture content
  • pliable
  • rolling
  • twists
  • breaks up the cells
  • releasing enzymes
  • machine cutting
  • fermentation
  • oxidation
  • heating
  • drying and packaging
  • machinery
  • efficient
  • traditional methods
  • modern methods
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