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Band 0.5

Today more people are spending their holidays abroad. What in your opinion are the primary reasons of this? What are the main effects of this trend on the local touristic attractions?

#people #holidays #effects #trend #touristic #attractions
Nowadays, many people decide to spend their
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
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 in different countries. Mainly, I think that celebrities and other influencers persuade people to visit new places by posting their pictures on social media. It can have various effects on
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
 attractions
such
 as the prosperity and wealth
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that place as more and more tourists arrive there. In my opinion,
Submitted by kaurkamaljeet050305 on

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coherence cohesion
Develop your introduction and conclusion more fully for better coherence and cohesion. Add a clear thesis statement in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, single main idea and that they are logically connected. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on your main points to strengthen your arguments. This will help demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Aim to fully address both parts of the question in equal depth. For instance, you could discuss multiple reasons people travel abroad and various impacts on local attractions.
general
Improve your range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance clarity and engagement. Varying your expressions can make your essay more compelling and lively.
task achievement
Your introduction begins to address both parts of the task, which is a good start.
task achievement
You have touched upon the influence of social media, which is a relevant and contemporary point.
content
Your essay shows an understanding of the potential economic impact on local tourist destinations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • budget airlines
  • international travel
  • social media
  • foreign cultures
  • economic prosperity
  • luxury activities
  • exposure
  • different cultures
  • work-related opportunities
  • climate preferences
  • tropical countries
  • global peace
  • educational opportunities
  • leisure travel
  • safer travel experiences
  • local touristic attractions
  • economic boost
  • overcrowding
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • seasonal tourism
  • local businesses
  • authentic experiences
What to do next:
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