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Band 5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #health #alternative #medicine #treatments #doctor
There is no doubt, that the number of
people
 who consume products and
servicies
Correct your spelling
services
 of
alternative
medicine
 has grown. The phenomenon has several reasons, which will be described in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, in
cases
 where traditional
medicine
too
Add a missing verb
is too
show examples
 expensive or can not solve a problem, patients try to find
another ways
Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
show examples
.
In other words
, many
people
 can not afford
pay
Fix the infinitive
to pay
show examples
 for some
analyzes
Fix the agreement mistake
analyses
show examples
 and
reseaches
Correct your spelling
research
 and they might look for free
advises
Replace the word
advice
show examples
 on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
In addition
, when
intersection
Add an article
the intersection
show examples
 of
diagnosises
Correct your spelling
diagnosis
diagnoses
occures
Correct your spelling
occurs
, traditional
medicine
 hardly finds
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 one and every diagnosis will be treated, raising
Correct article usage
the overal
show examples
overal buget
Correct your spelling
overall budget
. For
instanse
Correct your spelling
instance
, I had
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 issue with my
legiment
Correct your spelling
regiment
ligament
, which was treated
buy
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 six doctors and no one helped me and
finally
 I started to search
alternative
Change preposition
for alternative
show examples
medicine
.
In contrast
, if common
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
 practices worked in all
cases
 and cost a
litle
Correct your spelling
little
, uncommon ways of treatment would not grow in popularity.
Moreover
, in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 world
people
 have broad
acsess
Correct your spelling
access
 to information, which helps
people
 to find
proves
Replace the word
proof
show examples
 of an
alternative
medicine
's implementation.
This
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 observe successful
cases
 of an uncommon treatment and start trying it. To illustrate
this
, somebody put out on Instagram
impact
Correct article usage
the impact
show examples
 of drinking water with lemon against a stomach disease and other
people
 could copy it and
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
try to treat their
stomaches
Correct your spelling
stomachs
show examples
 by drinking water. Alternatively,
patiens
Correct your spelling
patients
patient
 would not study some
unprooved
Correct your spelling
unproved
unapproved
unproven
 approaches to solve their issues. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the consumption of
alternative
medicine
 has increased because
two
Change preposition
of two
show examples
 main causes.
Firstly
, traditional treatment does not work effectively in all
cases
 and it
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
 a lot;
secondly
, the widespread of social media and other
sourses
Correct your spelling
sources
 of information
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
uncomon
Correct your spelling
uncommon
 opinions.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

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type grammatical accuracy
Work on grammatical accuracy to enhance readability and reduce errors. Consider revising the following sentence for accuracy: 'many people can not afford pay for some analyzes and reseaches and they might look for free advises on the internet.' Instead, you could write: 'many people cannot afford to pay for some analyses and research, and they might look for free advice on the internet.'
type coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas. For example, use connectors like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', or 'Additionally' to link sentences more effectively. Consider rephrasing the sentence: 'This is because, people observe successful cases of an uncommon treatment and start trying it.' to 'Moreover, when people observe successful cases of alternative treatments online, they are more likely to try them themselves.'
type task achievement
Provide more detailed and diverse examples to enhance task achievement. Instead of a single example, you may include multiple scenarios that illustrate the prevalence of alternative medicine use. You can also elaborate on why traditional medicine might fail and provide more context to your example about your ligament issue.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
supported main points
The writer attempts to provide explanations and examples to support their points.
complete response
The essay addresses the task by providing reasons for the increase in alternative medicine use.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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