Some people prefer to do most of their shopping online. This has both positive and negative effects for individuals, businesses and society. Are there more advantages or more disadvantages of online shopping? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Online shopping has become a trend among
the
people because Correct article usage
apply
in
their busy Add the comma(s)
, in
time
, it is convenient and Fix the agreement mistake
times
time saving
. Add a hyphen
time-saving
However
, it brings some prons
and cons for shoppers and buyers Correct your spelling
pros
eventhough
to the environment too. It has more negative effects than positive which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs with Correct your spelling
even though
an
appropriate examples in brief.
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
To begin
with the drawbacks of this
craze, a large or small order requires a huge amount of cardboard, papers
, and envelopes to do a strong packaging. So, Fix the agreement mistake
paper
a lots
of trees and plants Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
cut
down to complete Add a missing verb
are cut
this
desire which directly impacts on
the environment and species of forests. Change preposition
apply
Secondly
, to make a purchase, buyers have to add their bank details which is creating various problems in
these days like fraud and scams.
Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, in the
online applications, products look more attractive and secure but after Correct article usage
apply
receiving
, sometimes it is in bad condition and not worthwhile. Correct pronoun usage
receiving them
Thus
in shops, people check the quality according to
price then
they can do bargaining due to
several reasons which gives satisfaction. In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
it
, e-shopping Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
put
Verb problem
apply
impact
on employment rate because no one Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
need
more employees to pack or deliver the order.
On the flip side of Change the verb form
needs
this
statement, online platforms provides
variety in purchasing items with price comparisons which helps to do shopping at home with Change the verb form
provide
best
deals. Correct article usage
the best
Also
, it is best
method for those who live far from shopping malls and shops, they can buy anything from anywhere in the business days.
In conclusion, no doubt, teleshopping has some benefits but we can not ignore the side effects because to save Change the article
the best
environment
and to secure their bank details, they should prefer Add an article
the environment
other shopping method
. Change the wording
another shopping method
other shopping methods
This
will give them more options with return
policy too.Correct article usage
a return
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task achievement
Ensure to address all parts of the task comprehensively. While you provided a complete response, some points needed further elaboration or support.
task achievement
Ideas should be presented clearly. Some points in your essay were not fully clear. For instance, the idea of packaging and its environmental effects could have been better detailed.
task achievement
Including specific examples would strengthen your arguments considerably. Try to incorporate relevant and specific examples from your knowledge or experience.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical structure throughout your essay. While your essay had a logical flow, some paragraphs, especially the one about the drawbacks, could be better organized.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should support a central idea and be coherently linked to the main argument. Some paragraphs jumped between ideas, affecting their coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to adequately support each main point with explanations or examples. Some of your main points lacked the necessary support, making them less convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction was well-crafted, setting a clear context for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarized the main points and provided a clear stance.
task achievement
You attempted to cover various aspects of the topic, which shows a good effort at providing a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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