‏In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Working is an It is certainly
essentical
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essential
things in our lives. It is certainly true that
kids
can achieve the best if they
work
hard.
However
, not all the
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
of
this
innovation have been positive,
although
there are surely some advantages. There are several drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
telling
kids
to
Work
hard.
Expose
Wrong verb form
Exposing
show examples
children
in
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to
show examples
difficult
Work
Can lead them to
potential
Add an article
the potential
show examples
of disappointment, thereby,
kids
can't
empower
Wrong verb form
be empowered
show examples
to
work
hard again.
For example
, the result of conducted research illustrates that the
raito
Correct your spelling
race
of
kids
who do their best,
then
face unrealistic
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
are suffered from
anxeity
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anxiety
and
presure
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pressure
.
As a result
,
this
could affect the belief that they on their health.
Moreover
, can achieve
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
while
Working hard,
will
Correct pronoun usage
which will
show examples
make them believe only
Working
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in Working
show examples
hard, and ignoring other factors that help them to arrive
to
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at
show examples
the
sucseed
Correct your spelling
succeed
such
as luck, talent and opportunity. In spite of these
nagitive
Correct your spelling
negative
aspects,
however
, believing in
power
Add an article
the power
show examples
of hard
work
boosts the self
confidera
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confident
confidence
kids
encourage to develop and improve themself.
for instance
, in some private
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
, students who
require
Wrong verb form
are required
show examples
to
work
hard more than others,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
perform better than
ther
Correct your spelling
their
classroom mate
Correct your spelling
classmates
show examples
.
Thus
, they can innovate and create wisely.
Furthermore
, if children used to
work
hard, they will
protiably
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probably
be
independent
Add an article
an independent
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. They may face any issue and solve it by themself like
while
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, cleaning •So, they Cooking. their problems. have the responsibility to carry or In conclusion, working hard for children might have both advantages and disadvantages. parents have a vital role in supporting their
kids
to be able to face any issue.
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structures and grammar to ensure clarity.
task achievement
Try to provide more clear and specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
The writer attempted to balance both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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