In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Working is an It is certainly
essentical
things in our lives. It is certainly true that Correct your spelling
essential
kids
can achieve the best if they work
hard. However
, not all the effect
of Fix the agreement mistake
effects
this
innovation have been positive, although
there are surely some advantages.
There are several drawbacks of
telling Change preposition
to
kids
to Work
hard. Expose
children Wrong verb form
Exposing
in
difficult Change preposition
to
Work
Can lead them to potential
of disappointment, thereby, Add an article
the potential
kids
can't empower
to Wrong verb form
be empowered
work
hard again. For example
, the result of conducted research illustrates that the raito
of Correct your spelling
race
kids
who do their best, then
face unrealistic expectation
are suffered from Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
anxeity
and Correct your spelling
anxiety
presure
. Correct your spelling
pressure
As a result
, this
could affect the belief that they on their health. Moreover
, can achieve any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
while
Working hard, will
make them believe only Correct pronoun usage
which will
Working
hard, and ignoring other factors that help them to arrive Change preposition
in Working
to
the Change preposition
at
sucseed
Correct your spelling
succeed
such
as luck, talent and opportunity.
In spite of these nagitive
aspects, Correct your spelling
negative
however
, believing in power
of hard Add an article
the power
work
boosts the self confidera
Correct your spelling
confident
confidence
kids
encourage to develop and improve themself. for instance
, in some private school
, students who Fix the agreement mistake
schools
require
to Wrong verb form
are required
work
hard more than others, they
perform better than Correct pronoun usage
apply
ther
Correct your spelling
their
classroom mate
. Correct your spelling
classmates
Thus
, they can innovate and create wisely. Furthermore
, if children used to work
hard, they will protiably
be Correct your spelling
probably
independent
Add an article
an independent
person
. They may face any issue and solve it by themself like Fix the agreement mistake
people
while
traveling
, cleaning •So, they Cooking. their problems. have the responsibility to carry or
In conclusion, working hard for children might have both advantages and disadvantages. parents have a vital role in supporting their Change the spelling
travelling
kids
to be able to face any issue.Submitted by 13570581 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structures and grammar to ensure clarity.
task achievement
Try to provide more clear and specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
The writer attempted to balance both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
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