Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
contemporary era, investing money
on
diverse projects is a considerable debate. Many people view Change preposition
in
that
spending Correct word choice
apply
money
in exploring the
outer Correct article usage
apply
space
is
nonsensical, Correct your spelling
as
while
other
view Fix the agreement mistake
others
that
it Correct word choice
apply
is
indispensable for future prospects. Correct your spelling
as
However
, I concur with the view that governments
should sensibly allocate money
for other purposes which benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
the
society Correct article usage
apply
such
as improving country's
infrastructure and developing an Correct article usage
the country's
ecological
friendly environment.
Change the adjective
ecologically
To begin
with, it is important that money
spent on various projects should be used wisely considering country's
condition. Correct article usage
the country's
First,
governments
should spend money
on improving the infrastructure which includes, roads, metros and railways because my
people face challenges Correct pronoun usage
apply
while
commuting. Furthermore
, it does not require a huge amount of money
and has a life-time
benefit; Correct your spelling
lifetime
whereas
, spending billion
of dollars on rockets and Correct your spelling
billions
space
stations is risky and may fail. In addition
, improvements in the interior structure of country
Correct article usage
the country
enhances
lifestyles, which appeals Change the verb form
enhance
foreign
individuals to invest in the economyChange preposition
to foreign
,
Correct word choice
and, as
as a result
, fosters economy
. Correct article usage
the economy
Therefore
, it is significant to invest money
in the
project that can attract tourists and Correct article usage
a
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
country's
reputation.
Correct article usage
the country's
Governments
should spent
Change the verb form
spend
money
to develop sustainable environments because it is a growing concern. Although
exploring the
Correct article usage
apply
space
is intriguing, people have to reside on planet
. Add an article
the planet
Therefore
, effective steps must be taken to prevent pollution ang
global warming that Correct your spelling
and
are
deleterious to human health. Investments in green technologies will aid Change the verb form
is
to augment
the environment by providing measures and gadgets to alleviate Change preposition
in augmenting
such
crises. For example
, in many developing countries individuals have developed fatal diseases caused by deteriorated environments. As a result
, authorities should consider this
as a problem and must take effective steps to reduce it.
To conclude
, it is imperative that governments
should
invest Verb problem
apply
money
to benefit the
civilians rather than Correct article usage
apply
wasting
on discovering Replace the word
waste
the
Correct article usage
apply
space
. Moreover
, this
would not just improve nation's
condition, but will have lasting effects on the generations to come.Correct article usage
the nation's
Submitted by uroojzulqernain on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your argument more clearly in some paragraphs to make it easier for the reader to follow your ideas. For example, ensure each main point is distinct and has adequate elaboration and evidence.
task achievement
Offer more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, setting up the topic and summarizing your main points well.
task achievement
You've attempted to address both sides of the argument, which provides a balanced view and shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example