IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think it is good for the country, while others believe that the government should control the salaries and limit the amount of money people can earn. Discuss both views and give you opinions

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount #money
In
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of countries, just a few
people
 earn a lot amount of money.
people
 differ some
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
This
 is great for the
country
while
 other
people
 think that bad and
this
 should be changed and put
Limit
Correct article usage
a Limit
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 What
people
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 earn. The first group thing that
good
Correct pronoun usage
it good
show examples
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 those
people
peovide
Correct your spelling
provide
 something for the
country
 as the
Prisdent
Correct your spelling
president
 or any of the
minstry
Correct your spelling
ministry
adminstrotions
Correct your spelling
administrations
. those
people
 running the
country
 lead is
protact
Correct your spelling
protect
 it and Improve the
servises
Correct your spelling
services
 for the
citisen
Correct your spelling
citizen
citizens
. So simply they control of the quality living and the
futurs
Correct your spelling
future
 of the
Country
, So they deserve the high salary they get.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
hands
Add a comma
hands,
show examples
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
people
Correct pronoun usage
who disgree
show examples
disgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 and
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
, the government must control the salaries and Put
limti
Correct your spelling
limits
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the salary, No matter what you do
what
Correct word choice
or what
show examples
 you give. they
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 all
people
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 get the Some amount of money no one should take more or take less. they
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
people
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
running The
country
 must run and don't get anything more
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they want the top head
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the government Should feel in the
butom
Correct your spelling
bottom
button
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think we must give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
every person what they
diserve
Correct your spelling
deserve
 for his/her hard work. Even tho they must be some
limet
Correct your spelling
limit
sholden't
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
 be low but not so high.
Submitted by naifbadrkaka on

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task achievement
To improve your task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the prompt. In your essay, while you described two perspectives on high salaries, the ideas could be developed further with more specific examples and clearer reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from better coherence and cohesion. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your points flow logically from one to the next. Transitions between ideas can be improved to enhance the overall structure and readability of your essay.
language use
Work on improving the accuracy and complexity of your language. Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling to avoid distracting the reader. Also, aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey your ideas more effectively.
content
You have made a good attempt to present and discuss both sides of the argument, which is important for an essay of this nature.
content
Your conclusion, though brief, does provide a personal opinion which is a necessary component of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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