Nowadays people get married and have kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger.Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society?

#people #kids #thirties #trend #benefit #society

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays

people

Use synonyms

get married and have kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that

this

Linking Words

trend will benefit

society

Use synonyms

Marriage

Use synonyms

requires maturity, understanding, and dedication from both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

partners, doing it late can offer numerous advantages to

society

Use synonyms

. I completely agree with the notion for the fact that late

marriage

Use synonyms

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to become

financial

Change the adjective

financially

show examples

stable and mature enough to raise

children

Use synonyms

. Financial

stability

Use synonyms

is one of the key determinants for a successful

marriage

Use synonyms

and

this

Linking Words

stability

Use synonyms

usually comes in

late

Change the article

the late

show examples

thirties because young

people

Use synonyms

work hard in their twenties to build

thir

Correct your spelling

their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

so they can reap the

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

later in

life

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, financial

stability

Use synonyms

can allow a person to provide a good

life

Use synonyms

for their family, they can go on vacation and enjoy their

life

Use synonyms

how they want.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can spend more time with their

children

Use synonyms

and focus on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

development without worrying if they are

financial

Change the adjective

financially

show examples

stable.

Also

Linking Words

, financial

stability

Use synonyms

reduced

Wrong verb form

reduces

show examples

dependency on government and other welfare services,

hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

allows other marginalized

people

Use synonyms

to get proper support.

Hence

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

society

Use synonyms

can benefit from late

marriage

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the second advantage of late

marriage

Use synonyms

allows

people

Use synonyms

to be mature enough to start a family. A mature human being has strong reasoning skills, problem

solving

Correct your spelling

problem-solving

show examples

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

, and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

valuable

life

Use synonyms

experiences and they understand the complexities of

situation

Correct article usage

the situation

show examples

life

Use synonyms

present

Replace the word

presents

show examples

to them. Through these skills, and insight parents can guide their

children

Use synonyms

in a proper way.

For example

Linking Words

, a child withdrawing from social interaction with other

children

Use synonyms

day care

Correct your spelling

daycare

show examples

. Mature parents will

analysis

Replace the word

analyse

show examples

the problem

first,

Linking Words

and they work on the solution rather than shutting the child completely without hearing any word from him. Positive parenting

set

Wrong verb form

sets

show examples

a better example in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

which is crucial for

Correct article usage

the

show examples

betterment of

society

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

get married and have kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

benefits like financial

stability

Use synonyms

and maturity often come with age.

Submitted by ali695313 on Fri Aug 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clear comprehensive ideas

Try to improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Ensure that each point is articulated clearly and is comprehensibly developed.

relevant specific examples

Including specific, relevant examples will strengthen your arguments. Aim to provide a variety of examples to support your points more effectively.

complete response

Ensure your essay addresses all parts of the prompt. This will demonstrate a more complete response.

logical structure

Improve the logical structure by using clear topic sentences and transition phrases to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which enhances the coherence of your piece.

supported main points

You have supported your main points with logical reasoning and explanations, which makes your argument compelling.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

334 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
emotional maturity
secure upbringing
career prospects
education and career development
lifetime earnings
job satisfaction
health outcomes
demographic shift
population growth
ageing population
parental preparedness
responsibilities of parenting
modern healthcare
capable of having healthy pregnancies
balancing population growth
establish careers
save money
healthier relationships
better parenting

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?
Nowadays, there has been a controversy regarding whether economic development has supported individuals to become wealthier in both developed and developing countries or not. On the other hand, some believe that those who are living in developed countries are still not satisfied as they were in the past. This essay will explore two major reasons why people are dissatisfied and the lessons learned from this situation.
4.5
band
Some people say that musci is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
There is an ongoing debate about music and whether it has the power to bring divers nations with diffrent cultural backgrounds together. My perspective is, although in some aspects music seems week, it posses enough energy to unite diffrent communities and make them close. The following paragraphs will discuss this assertion.
6
band
In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into cities. Why do you think this happen? What problems can this cause.
In this day and age, there is a vast expanse of the consumption of sweetened goods, which is known as a prominent element resulting in a number of related issues. I do believe that raising the price of this kind of product is considered a noticeable solution to have this tendency restrained. This essay will analyze and discuss the divergent reasons along with my own perspective.
5.5
band
In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development
The benefit of moving to big cities influences many countryside citizens to move there and this issue happens around the world. I personally believe that this notion has negative leverages and I will elaborate more on this essay.
4
band
In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?
In today world, plenty of people have choosen to live by theirselves. A lof of individuals argue that living alone has a large number of positive outcomes, others contend living alone has some negative impact. Individualism culture right now is a result of various factors, such as social norms, economic condition, and technological advancements.

Nowadays people get married and have kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger.Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

Some people say that musci is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into cities. Why do you think this happen? What problems can this cause.

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?