Some people believe that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in-spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #years #times #lives #adult #life #happiness #in-spite #responsibilities

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it is often argued, that few

people

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consider that the most joyful age of a person's

life

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is teenage

while

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other

people

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believe that

individuals

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become happier in their adult age regardless of their responsibilities, as far as

Remove the comma

apply

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I m concerned

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strongly agree with the statement that

adulthood

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is the happiest age.In

this

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essay, I will discuss both points of view with supportive examples. on the one hand, most

people

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believe that the most delightful stage of

life

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is the teenage

this

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is because of their sense of autonomy and focus on their personal development so ,

individuals

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feel free to learn new experiences and focus on the development of their personalities . it develops the

sence

Correct your spelling

sense

of deep thinking.

For example

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in a

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survey conducted in Pakistan mostly , 85% of teenagers are granted driving licenses.

Therefore

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many

individuals

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have the freedom to explore new things in their teenage.

on the other hand

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, other

people

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think that

adulthood

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escorts happiness in defiance of obligations.

This

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is because of their career and professional achievements but

also

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, have socio-emotional achievement. Most

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apply

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individuals

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have established their careers in

adulthood

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and have developed a sense of responsibility.

they

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They

show examples

become

moe

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show examples

stable .

For instance

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,a research conducted in the USA ,75% of

individuals

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have completed their degree in

adulthood

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Therefore

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many

individuals

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are emotionally stable because of their professional achievements.

To sum up

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However

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teenage is the most cheerful stage of

life

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because of freedom but I strongly agree that

adulthood

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is the most stable stage of

life

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because of professional achievement.

Submitted by madihaali8470 on Fri Aug 30 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction should be clearer and more structured. You made your opinion clear, but it's important to ensure the sentence structure is correct and avoid minor grammatical errors. Instead of writing 'as far as, I m concerned i strongly agree,' you could write 'As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree.'

coherence and cohesion

To enhance the coherence of your essay, make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that states the main point you will be discussing.

coherence and cohesion

Focus on improving the cohesion between sentences. Use linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow from one idea to the next. This helps the reader follow your arguments more easily.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples to support both viewpoints, which shows your ability to incorporate real-world information into your essay.

task achievement

Your essay covered both sides of the argument, offering a balanced view before providing your own opinion.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is structured with clear paragraphs, each devoted to a different viewpoint, which helps in presenting your ideas logically.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Some people believe that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in-spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In some countries the unemployment is high, therefore some people think children should study only primary education and not secondary education because they cannot find jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages? (KN)

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Advantage of using electronic device in the classroom