Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some would argue that
state
is wasting money on supporting artists which is Correct article usage
the state
waste
of resources which could be used somewhere else. Correct article usage
a waste
While
supporting talent is good
way to go for a developing country, I believe there are many other priorities where lives can be saved should be focused first to use any amount.
On the one hand, for a thriving nation, Add an article
a good
state
is responsible Add an article
the state
to increase
talent among people to make their country proud. Artists go Change preposition
for increasing
extra
mile Correct article usage
the extra
for
their whole Change preposition
apply
life
to be famous and they need support from Fix the agreement mistake
lives
government
to be in a position where they can Correct article usage
the government
achive
success. Correct your spelling
achieve
For example
, India reinforce
every talent possible, Change the verb form
reinforces
it does
Verb problem
apply
not
matter if it is acting or singing, and they have already achieved their goal and now Correct your spelling
no
whole
world knows Change the article
the whole
bollywood
for Change the capitalization
Bollywood
Hollywood
it's
creativity and music. Replace the word
its
However
I believe that Add a comma
However,
this
amount which is invested every year in movies by the state
can help to give shelter and food to many people.
On the other hand
, many lives can be saved just by using a little amount. Each year hundreds of farmers suicide because the state
ignore
their needs. their Change the verb form
ignores
day to day
survival is very hard, they can't even afford one meal for their family, because, they have to pay Add a hyphen
day-to-day
heavy
Add an article
the heavy
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
which
they took from Correct pronoun usage
apply
Add an article
the bank
a bank
bank
Fix the agreement mistake
banks
on
high interest rates for cultivating their lands. Change preposition
at
For example
, In india
, for many Change the capitalization
India
farmers
it is very hard to survive these days because they are not being paid enough for their products and the Add a comma
farmers,
governement
is not focussing on Correct your spelling
government
this
matter so it is easy for them to die rather than paying
heavy loans. I believe that Wrong verb form
pay
this
type of situations
can be easily handled if they focus on Fix the agreement mistake
situation
this
first because they are feeding whole
nation.
Add an article
the whole
a whole
To conclude
, Although
reinforcing artists can make a country popular, however
Add the comma(s)
however,
farmers
needs and poverty should be focused Change noun form
farmers'
farmer's
first
to save lives.Change preposition
on first
Submitted by MK on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, helping the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and your opinion, setting up the essay well.
complete response
You raised relevant points about both the importance of supporting artists and the need to address more urgent priorities like farmers' welfare.
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