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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #water #consumption #two #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 globally over the
last
Linking Words
 century.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the table chart demonstrates
comperative
Correct your spelling
comparative
competitive
 rates of
utalized
Correct your spelling
utilised
water
Use synonyms
 in both Barzil and Congo in
Change the article
the ghe
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ghe
Correct your spelling
the
 year 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be
clealry
Correct your spelling
clearly
 seen that agriculture maintained its position throughout the years as the dominant source of
water
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consumption
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
domestice
Correct your spelling
domestic
use
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 generated the least proportion, despite the slight growth in the
last
Linking Words
 few decades.
According to
Linking Words
 the table chart, Brazil experienced
overpopution
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
overproduction
 regarding its minimal
irrigarted
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irrigated
 land, reflecting a vast increase in
water
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 usage.
Conversly
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Conversely
, Congo
exibited
Correct your spelling
exhibited
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minor
water
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consumption
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that it
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
smaller
Add an article
a smaller
show examples
 population and
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
show examples
 region in 2000. In detail, approximately 500
km
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 was used for agriculture in the beginning period of time, which dramatically increased throughout the years to reach 3000
km
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, industrial and domestic
use
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 had identical rates, about 1
km
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 respectively. As industrial
use
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 started rising in 1960, domestic
use
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 remained stable until 1980.
Addind
Correct your spelling
Adding
 to that,
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
this
Linking Words
 era, industrial
use
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 grew from nearly 1
km
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 to 1000
km
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, domestic
use
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 ended at 500
km
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. In terms of
water
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consumption
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 in 2000, Brazil, the greater
popultion
Correct your spelling
population
, which is 176 million, generated 359 m for consuming
water
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, 8 m Congo used
water
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as a result
Linking Words
 of less population, 5.2 million, and bigger space, 100
km
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jenakhalil07 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, consumption, use, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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