IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of the UK
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 who consumed
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 which the
recomentdation
Correct your spelling
recommendation
recommendations
 routine every four years in 2002, 2006, and 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 which people consumed experienced an upward trend
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 the period.
While
Linking Words
 the figure of women was the highest than men and Children. In 2002,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 consumed
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 in
Correct pronoun usage
their dialy
show examples
dialy
Correct your spelling
daily
 routine was around
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
 of the proportion and slightly increased
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 32% in 2006 and
turn
Wrong verb form
turned
show examples
 over to 27%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 which men consumed was lower than women around 22% in the first years before slightly
reach to
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 28% in the next
four-years
Correct your spelling
four years
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it declined fewer to 24% in 2010
On the other hand
Linking Words
, The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
fruits
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
eaten by
childrens
Correct your spelling
children's
children
 shows the lowest percent rather than adults. In 2002, Kids
eat
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
friuts
Correct your spelling
fruit
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 around 11% and a little bit increased to 16% in the next
four-years
Correct your spelling
four years
show examples
 before slightly
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 to 14% in 2010.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words fruits, vegetables with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: