IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people think that zoos are crual and should be clouse down. others belive that zoos are useful in different ways.discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #zoos #clouse #belive
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minority
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
zoos
 are rude and that has to be
close
Replace the word
closed
show examples
 down. majority
thiks
Correct your spelling
think
zoos
 are very important.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with
this
statmen
Correct your spelling
statement
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mention it because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some
zoos
 do not treat
animals
 better
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 small
zoos
 have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
capasity
Correct your spelling
capacity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
animals
 which
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
show examples
 their freedom
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
but
soam
Correct your spelling
small
show examples
zoos
 protect
endangerd
Correct your spelling
endangered
animals
as well as
 the students can very easily research them and we can see
animals
 from other
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 in
one
 place. some people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
say
zoos
 should be
clouse
Correct your spelling
closed
 down. yes, it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some reasons.
one
 reason is some
zoos
 do not
tread
Correct your spelling
treat
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals
.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example, they
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 clean their cages and they don't feed them properly
as well as
 they don't care
animals
Change preposition
about animals
show examples
.
one
 more
reasons
Change to a singular noun
reason
show examples
 is some small
zoos
 have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
capasity
Correct your spelling
capacity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
animals
 which
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
show examples
 their freedom.
therefore
animals
 are more likely to die. some people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
zoos
 are very important and useful. yes, it is correct . why am
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
say
Wrong verb form
saying
show examples
 so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 told you. We get a lot of benefits from it.if
one
 of them
zoos
 can protect
endangerd
Correct your spelling
endangered
animals
 so we can see those
animals
. another adventure is the student can very easily research them
Therefore
, there is no need to search for
animals
 in the forest. another adventure is we can see
animals
 from other
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 in
one
plase
Correct your spelling
place
therefore
 people don't want to spend money.
according to
 the given justifications in the first and second
Fix the agreement mistake
paragraphs
show examples
paragraph
Add a comma
paragraph,
show examples
 you can
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 about
Correct article usage
the statment
show examples
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 true or false.
finaly
Correct your spelling
Finally
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to say we must protect
animals
.
Submitted by induwarausith50 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve your introduction and conclusion to more clearly frame your discussion and provide a summary.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are fully developed and expressed clearly. Avoid repetition.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay covers both perspectives on the issue of zoos, which is essential for this type of task.
task achievement
The attempt to provide reasons and examples shows a good understanding of the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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