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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age in the UK who used the Internet every day from 2003-2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age in the UK who used the Internet every day from 2003-2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#percentage #adults #age #uk #internet #information #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates the proportion of Internet
users
Use synonyms
 in five
age
Use synonyms
 groups from
aged
Change the form of the verb
age
show examples
 16 to more than 65 years old from 2003 until 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, as
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
 the
users
Use synonyms
 get, they
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 less available online than the younger ones. We can
also
Linking Words
 notice that as the year changes, there is an upward tendency of people accessing the online network. Web
users
Use synonyms
 aged 16-24 are significantly the easiest
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 most likely to find online,
whereas
Linking Words
 it will get harder to find an older person. Especially in 2003, it is definitely difficult to find elderly aged more than 65 years old wandering online.
In contrast
Linking Words
, people aged over 45 have more awareness of being online than the older
age
Use synonyms
 group. Regardless of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Use synonyms
,
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
 by
2006
Add a comma
2006,
show examples
 internet
is
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 accessible to everyone as the total
Use synonyms
users
Correct quantifier usage
number of users
show examples
 mostly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 by 20% in all
age
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 since 2003, with
exception
Correct article usage
the exception
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
 group with only a slight increase of 10%.
Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words users, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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