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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the number of cell phone subscribers in a particular city, by gender. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The line graph below shows the number of cell phone subscribers in a particular city, by gender. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#line #cell #phone #subscribers #city #gender #information #features #comparisons
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The following graph illustrates the
number
 of
cell
phone
subscribers
 in Marysville from 1995 to 2015. It is evident that the
number
 of
cell
phone
subscribers
 of both genders has significantly increased. In 1995, the
number
 of
women
subscribers
 was more than
men
,
while
 600
women
 had
cell
phone
 subscriptions, only 500
men
 had subscribed. Both genders showed a steady increase till 2005, when the
number
 of
women
 who had
cell
phone
 subscriptions started to decrease and the
number
 of
men
 remained at a constant value. The
number
 of
women
subscribers
 in the year 2010 started to remain constant
while
men
 started to increase. In the end,
in contrast
 to 1995, the
number
 of
men
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 more than
women
,
while
 only 2250
women
 had
cell
phone
 subscriptions,
men
 had 2750
subscribers
, which was 500
subscribers
 more than
women
.
To conclude
, even though both genders showed a significant increase in the
number
 of
subscribers
,
in contrast
 to 1995
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when
women
 had more
subscribers
,
men
 had more
subscribers
 in 2015.
Submitted by satyarthverma88 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cell, phone, subscribers, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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