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Band 5

It has often been suggested that the reintroduction of capital punishment would deter the ever increasing rate of serious crime. What is your view? Do you think that capital punishment should be reinstated?

#reintroduction #punishment #rate #crime
Reintroduction of capital
punishment
 would definitely deter the
ever increasing
Add a hyphen
ever-increasing
show examples
 rate of serious
crime
 as criminals would be hesitant to commit
crimes
 that would result in a death sentence. The rising
crime
 rate is an indication that the current consequences are not harsh enough to reduce serious
crime
. In the public interest, the state should reinstate capital
punishment
 for serious
crimes
 which can alter or end an individual's life. The victims of
such
crimes
 and their families suffer greatly
due to
 the actions of the perpetrator and the consequence for the perpetrator should mirror the
crime
 committed.
For example
, in the case of murder, the victim loses their life and their family suffers the loss of a loved one. Here, a sentence of death would be an appropriate
punishment
 for the criminal. If the ultimate
punishment
 were to be enforced, criminals would think twice before committing
such
crimes
.
As a result
, the number of serious incidents would reduce and citizens would feel safe as they deserve to be. A safer environment would
also
 benefit the economy as a safer city and country as workers would not be concerned for their well-being when commuting to and from work.
Submitted by nakuleshj1998 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic with a clear stance on the reintroduction of capital punishment and provides logical reasoning. However, consider elaborating on both sides of the argument to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issue. Including counterarguments and refuting them can strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and body paragraphs. Ensure you include a conclusion that summarizes your main points. Additionally, improve the flow between ideas by using more cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases (e.g., 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' 'On the other hand').
task achievement
While your arguments are clear, providing more specific examples and data can make your essay more convincing. For instance, you could mention statistical data on crime rates in regions where capital punishment has been reinstated or abolished.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but aim for more balanced paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and develops a single idea. Adding more details to explain your points can improve coherence.
task achievement
You have a clear and direct approach to answering the essay topic. Your stance on the issue is firmly established, which makes your argument straightforward.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, and each paragraph deals with a distinct aspect of your argument. This helps to maintain focus and clarity throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reintroduction
  • capital punishment
  • deter
  • serious crime
  • controversial
  • argument
  • deterrent
  • potential criminals
  • heinous act
  • justice
  • human rights
  • government
  • execute
  • innocent individuals
  • legal system
  • wrongful convictions
  • alternatives
  • life imprisonment
  • parole
  • rectifying
  • emerges
What to do next:
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