IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

#universities #offer #courses #internet #people #study #development
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It is said that nowadays university
courses
 are being offered on the Internet in some universities in order for to people study online. I strongly believe that it is a positive development
due to
 equal educational opportunities. Online
courses
 provide
this
 chance for all people who are willing to study and learn regardless of their ages, locations, abilities, and backgrounds.
For example
, there are a lot of
students
 who live in remote areas or abroad and they are not able to access a good university without leaving their hometowns.
This
 new educational trend provides
this
 chance to be educated in their hometown without the difficulties which accompany leaving home.
Furthermore
, another advantage of online
courses
 is reducing the cost of universities
while
 they can increase their revenues as they can educate more
students
. Attending
students
 in the physical environment of a university require more infrastructure
such
 as a building and other related equipment.
While
 more
students
 can participate in Internet-based
courses
 without considering
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more facilities.
However
, some think online
courses
 are less interactive because
students
would
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not able to communicate with each other and their teacher. But I disagree with
this
 opinion. I think the Internet provides conditions for
students
 all over the world who can easily share their knowledge and experience. In conclusion, I strongly believe that universities in which
courses
 are being educated online
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can be more beneficial
due to
 equal opportunities and financial benefits.
Submitted by hg1984 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider expanding the introduction and conclusion to provide a bit more depth and clarity. This can enhance the logical structure and make your argumentation stronger.
Task Achievement
It’s important to address the counterargument more comprehensively. This will show that you have considered multiple perspectives and can strengthen your argument further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to some minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. For example, 'in order for to people study online' can be corrected to 'in order for people to study online.'
Task Achievement
The essay effectively argues that online courses provide equal educational opportunities and addresses financial benefits, supporting the main argument well.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, such as students in remote areas benefiting from online courses, adds relevance and specificity to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, with each paragraph addressing a specific point that contributes to the overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distance learning
  • Flexible schedule
  • Virtual classroom
  • Digital resources
  • E-learning platforms
  • Asynchronous learning
  • Synchronous learning
  • Cost-effective
  • Self-paced study
  • Technical difficulties
  • Blended learning
  • Online modules
  • Remote access
  • Student engagement
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