Some people think that it is too difficult for poor people or people from rural areas to go to university. So that the universities should make it especially easy for them. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Many believe that going to
university
is not enough for unwhealthy
individuals or people from villages. Correct your spelling
unhealthy
Therefore
they think the universities
should provide them better
conditions. I think Change preposition
with better
universities
should provide better opportunities for students
who do have not sufficient resources or come from rural places, such
as scholarships or accommodation.
Whether the university
is private or not, the biggest challenge of studying is money. When learners do not have a good income whether from a job or from family, they can stuck into
a huge city. Change preposition
in
While
,
even fundamental needs are very expensive, they will have difficulties fulfilling their needs Remove the comma
apply
such
as eating, socializing with friends and having stunning study conditions. Therefore
, universities
should provide some special opportunities for them, such
as scholarships or monthly grants. Students
' lives will dramatically change when a scholarship is provided. For instance
, I have a friend who got a scholarship from his college, he was easily able to live a university
life in İstanbul which is an extravagant to live.
Moreover
, accommodation is always a heated issue , especially for
big cities. Change preposition
in
While
house rents are overpriced, students
can not afford prices. Therefore
universities
should provide to
Change preposition
apply
students
, dormitory
options. Dormitories are always cheaper than houses, Change preposition
with dormitory
additionally
staying dormitary
is a good method to find new friends and get to know a new city. Correct your spelling
dormitory
For example
, in my university
there were many Add a comma
university,
students
who stayed in dormitories, and their friend environment was really extended.
In conclusion, education is crucial for our modern life, do not having sufficient income should not decide whether a student can go to university
or not. Therefore
universities
should give every student, equal study rights, with the support of money and accommodation.Submitted by xxxx17
on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point related to the topic and follow a logical progression of ideas. Consider using transitional phrases and sentences to improve the flow and coherence between paragraphs.
task achievement
Work on providing more comprehensive ideas and specific examples that strengthen your arguments. This can help in creating a stronger task response. When discussing scholarships, for example, you might mention different types of financial aid or how they can impact students' success.
coherence cohesion
Carefully proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, the line "Therefore universities should provide to students, dormitory options" can be revised to "Therefore, universities should offer dormitory options to their students."
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic effectively and offers a complete response, touching on both financial support and accommodation. This shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the argument made in the essay. This helps to give a sense of closure and completeness to the essay.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the friend who received a scholarship, adds a personal touch and makes the argument more relatable and convincing.