Should primary education be free or not. Agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Some
people
think that
education
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
the primary level should be free of cost. In my opinion, agree with
this
statement because
education
is one of the basic needs for humans in a democratic
country
.
This
will help everyone to be educated, increase local efficiency and
also
escalate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social awareness. When the basic
education
is free, everyone will be educated in the society.
In other words
,
education
shouldn’t be just for the rich
people
. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elementary
education
is not without charge, it will be
injustice
Correct article usage
an injustice
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
people
.
Moreover
, primary learning helps to gain efficiency in the work for general
people
. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
, in
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
East
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Asia
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
make their
school level
Add a hyphen
school-level
show examples
education
free of cost.
Therefore
,
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are started to know
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things from
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age and that can help to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
smoothen
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their workplace.
Furthermore
, it assists
to create
Change preposition
in creating
show examples
a better
man force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
in the
country
’s economic development. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary
education
make
Wrong verb form
is made
show examples
free and compulsory for the public, everyone will be educated in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. When most of the citizens of a
country
are educated,
people
will beware of crimes and other unethical things. Evidently, in Japan, they have ensured almost all the
children’s
Change noun form
children
show examples
are going to school in their
country
and it helps them to become a successful nation in the world.
To conclude
,
education
is the backbone of a nation.
Hence
, in
this
mobilize
Wrong verb form
mobilised
show examples
world, primary
education
should
be charge
Change the verb form
be charged
be charging
show examples
less for the
people
who are
lag
Wrong verb form
lagging
show examples
behind in our community and it will give us the opportunity to make the universe a better place to live in.
Submitted by anzuman.asha13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While your essay is largely comprehensible, it could benefit from a clearer structure and more logical transitions between paragraphs. Using phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally,' can help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
The examples provided help to illustrate your points but could be more precise and varied. Try to include data, quotes, or real-life cases to strengthen your arguments further.
task achievement
To increase clarity, work on grammatically correct phrasing and eliminating awkward sentences. Also, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of articles.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and your opinion is well-stated in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You provide a logical and convincing argument for free primary education, outlining its social and economic benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifelong education
  • continual learning
  • adapt
  • changing technologies
  • societal norms
  • cognitive function
  • cognitive decline
  • personal development
  • self-improvement
  • formal education
  • navigate
  • emphasis
  • pressure
  • contentment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: