Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.
Some
parents
give their children
a lof
of Correct your spelling
lot
toys
, so they can play with it
. It is Correct pronoun usage
them
a
common thing that Correct article usage
apply
children
always play with their toys
and it can distracts
the child from Change the verb form
distract
Add an article
the gadget
a gadget
gadget
. The advantage Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
by
buying many Change preposition
of
toys
for children
is can help children
to stimulates
their Verb problem
stimulate
brain
. Fix the agreement mistake
brains
On the other hand
, the disadvantage is having a bad impact for
their social Change preposition
on
interactions
development.
First things Change the noun form
interaction
first,
toys
help children
to accelarate
their brain development. By using the Correct your spelling
accelerate
toys
, children
can try to solve their problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
For example
, I have a cousin around 5 years old, his parents
give him some legos
to solve. By playing Capitalize word
Legos
lego
, he will try to construct and think hard Fix the agreement mistake
legos
how
to make the legos Change preposition
about how
to
stand Fix the infinitive
apply
on
the right position. It indicates that Change preposition
in
toys
have a significant role for
Change preposition
in
children
development and growth.
On the flip Change noun form
children's
sides
, spending much time with Fix the agreement mistake
side
toys
also
not always good. They will tend to choose their Add a missing verb
is also
toys
over their family and friends. For instance
, still with the same case, my cousin will angry
if their Add a missing verb
be angry
parents
are
not Verb problem
do
buying
them a new toy. Wrong verb form
buy
In other words
, they have been too attached with
Change preposition
to
toys
. Not only that,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
they become individualist or do not want to share their toys
with their relatives. Obviously, it is a negative impact that the parents
do not hope.
To summarise, buying toys
for children
has two sides, the good and bad. It can
be denied that Rephrase
cannot
toys
are good for build
brain behaviour. Change the verb form
building
Nevertheless
, the parents
must be aware of the negative impacts. I highly suggest to parents
to give toys
in sufficient numbers or not too much. So, the child can separate time to play with them and their friends.Submitted by wishmeluck on
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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your ideas with more examples and details to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness. You could elaborate further on how toys help brain development or provide more specific instances of negative social impacts.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow and organization of your essay. Linking words like 'while,' 'however,' and 'therefore' can help improve transitions between ideas. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion can be stronger. The essay should start with a broader background before narrowing down to the specific topic. Similarly, the conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a closing thought.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical and spelling mistakes, such as 'accelerate' instead of 'accelarate' and 'individualistic' instead of 'individualist.' These small errors can detract from the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed both advantages and disadvantages of having a large number of toys, which shows a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The essay stays on topic and follows a clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Good use of a personal example related to your cousin, which adds relevance to your points.