The line graph below shows the number of cell phone subscribers in a particular city, by gender. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#line #cell #phone #subscribers #city #gender #information #features #comparisons

The line graph gives information about the distribution of

moblie

Correct your spelling

mobile

phones

Change the noun form

phone

show examples

subscribers

by their gender in a specific city .

Overall

, it is evident that the number of male users had increased dramatically

throughtout

Correct your spelling

throughout

the period.

While

the level of

female's

Change the noun form

females

female

show examples

showed a decreasing pattern. at first glance, it is obvious that from 1995 to 2004 the percentage of men

subscribers

rose significantly

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

furthermore

, it started from 500 to 2500

subscribers

Additionally

,the figure between the years 2005 and 2010 remained stable ,hovering at around 2500

subscribers

Moreover

, in 2010 the number of

subscribers

went up to around 2700.

On the other hand

, the women's proportions witnessed a sharp growth from the

begginnig

Correct your spelling

beginning

of the period to 2004. rising from just over 500 to around 2500 .

Whereas

after 2004 the figure showed a downward trend.

however

, in 2010 it experienced a sudden drop from about 2500 to just around 2300

subscribers

and the numbers stayed unchanged

Change preposition

until

show examples

the end of the period

Submitted by helpme on Sat Aug 31 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words subscribers with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

160 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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