IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph compares the yearly
sales
Use synonyms
 made by three bakeries (
Amandine
Use synonyms
Bakery
Use synonyms
,
Mari
Use synonyms
Bakeshop
Use synonyms
, and
Bolo
Use synonyms
Cakery
Use synonyms
) over the period of 10 years from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
sales
Use synonyms
 of all the following bakeries increased over the years;
however
Linking Words
,
Mari
Use synonyms
Bakeshop
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 dropped frequently. In 2000, The
Mari
Use synonyms
Bakeshop
Use synonyms
 dominated the market with its competitors falling far behind in
sales
Use synonyms
, and it generated around $80K in revenue. The figure for the
Amandine
Use synonyms
Bakery
Use synonyms
 stood at nearly $55k,
while
Linking Words
 the
Bolo
Use synonyms
Cakery
Use synonyms
 made just about $20k. Over the course of the next 5 years, the
sales
Use synonyms
 for
Bolo
Use synonyms
Cakery
Use synonyms
 experienced a significant surge in income, and it doubled to nearly $40k in 2003. Meanwhile, the income remained relatively stable for
Amandine
Use synonyms
Bakery
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2006; the trends took a dramatic turn, and the
sales
Use synonyms
 for
Mari
Use synonyms
Bakeshop
Use synonyms
 plummeted rapidly,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
dropped below $60k, and for
Amandine
Use synonyms
Bakery
Use synonyms
, the figure increased exponentially, reaching its peak at nearly $100k which is the highest in comparison to all.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
Bolo
Use synonyms
Cakery
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increased, and it overtook the
Mari
Use synonyms
Bakeshop
Use synonyms
 with the double amount of
sales
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, amandine, bakery, mari, bakeshop, bolo, cakery, k with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: