Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss bot these views and give your opinion.

#people #lives #change #bot

There are competing views on whether to welcome

change

avoide

Correct your spelling

avoid

it.

Althought

Correct your spelling

Although

to some people having a stable routine is

safe

Add an article

a safe

show examples

alternative. I believe in

change

because through risk I will gain a wide range of experience which will lead to

fosters

Fix the agreement mistake

foster

show examples

growth and present new opportunities. Those who resist

change

are often hiding from risk and uncertainty. For

exmaple

Correct your spelling

example

, people who work in a

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

show examples

job which they hate can not resign and look for another job in fear of losing a stable job that

also

provides

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

to them and their

familes

Correct your spelling

families

However

, I do not think

this

school of thought will help them avoid

change

As eventaully

Change preposition

Eventaully

show examples

they might

burnout

Correct your spelling

burn out

show examples

which will cause them mental health issues that will force them to quit or worse get fired. Others,

on the other hand

aruge

Correct your spelling

argue

argues

that

change

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

thing

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

it will allow the individual to take risks and advance in life. By embracing

change

they are able to be successful in the long run

. .

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

For example

, Brad Pitt in an interview

explaind

Correct your spelling

explained

that as

actor

Add an article

an actor

show examples

he needs to find different and challenging roles that will help him expand his creativity as an actor

thus

meaning staying with the same roles will not provide him with any growth and will slowly fade him from the cinema. I agree with

this

mindset because if a person opts for an easy route , after some time they will fail in life. In conclusion,

while

avoiding

change

can secure

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

momentary safety,

emracing

Correct your spelling

embracing

it will allow the person to grow and experience new things . which will be beneficial in the long run. I believe that

change

opens many doors to the person.

Therefore

change

should not be welcomed with fear

instead

it should be welcomed with positivity.

Submitted by sajaali100 on Sat Aug 31 2024

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task response

Consider thoroughly addressing both perspectives in a well-balanced manner. While you have touched on both views, elaborating more on the counter-arguments will strengthen your essay.

coherence cohesion

Pay closer attention to paragraph transitions to improve flow. Consistently link your ideas between paragraphs to maintain a clear, logical structure.

grammar

Review sentences for grammatical accuracy and varied sentence structures. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to read.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction does a good job of presenting the topic and your opinion. This sets a clear direction for your essay.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and reinforces your belief in the positive aspects of change.

relevant specific examples

Providing examples such as the low-income job scenario and Brad Pitt’s career adds depth to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss bot these views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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In some countries, men and women are having babies late in life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?