In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
It goes without saying that we live in an age and decade when human
beings
livelihood Change noun form
beings'
being's
enhances
via huge improvements in Wrong verb form
is enhanced
healthcare
system, Add an article
the healthcare
as well as
other environmental changes. There is still huge
dichotomy among society members, someone convinced that there are huge beneficial consequences for society, Correct article usage
a huge
while
other people
think that detrimental ramifications of living longer tip the scales overwhelmingly. Personally, I advocating
Wrong verb form
advocate
to
Change preposition
in
this
case that all human beings should live longer and gain satisfaction of
every moment of life.
First and foremost, it is worth noticing that Change preposition
from
people
on
Change preposition
of
the
senior age, Correct article usage
apply
aged
one's are the main source of wisdom, inspiration and unwavering love and support for youngsters, mainly adolescents. If qualified, professionals Correct word choice
and aged
of
their field and specialisation will live longer, without any Change preposition
in
doubds
they can pass their knowledge to Correct your spelling
doubts
doubt
new
generation and in Add an article
a new
the new
this
way
there will be a cycle of valuable information, Add a comma
way,
as well as
multifaceted and versatile knowledge about the history, which is necessary for different country developments. To cite an example, I genuinely can notice that my remarkable grandmother provided me with valuable information and tuited
me many actions, like cooking masterpieces of cookery art and mouth-watering national dishes, in my daily routine it helps me a lot. Correct your spelling
taught
Additionally
, every creature of nature should live long
and healthy life Correct article usage
a long
due to
this
fact that we come to Correct determiner usage
the
this
planet only once and everyone should utilize this
possibility wholeheartedly.
On the other hand
, a multitude of individuals think that elder people
create more detrimental issues through
their Change preposition
in
life
, rather than benefit Fix the agreement mistake
lives
for
society. It is evident, that as we get older, our body, mental and physical health, Change preposition
apply
as well as
psychological face noticeable changes and consciousness
of individuals declines significantly. Correct article usage
the consciousness
As a result
, they are like burdens for their relatives and doctors in hospitals which spend huge
amount of time for them. Add an article
a huge
Additionally
, expenditures on senior
ages which suffer from life-threatening diseases Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
increases
day by day. Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
For instance
, many seniors cannot even feed and take bathroom
by themselves, it Correct article usage
the bathroom
took
a lot of power to do it Wrong verb form
takes
or
adults who suffer from Correct word choice
and
alzheimer
disease or dimension Change the capitalization
Alzheimer
and
might be Correct word choice
apply
potential
Correct article usage
a potential
sourse
of danger for surrounding Correct your spelling
source
sources
people
.
To sum up
, despite some ramifications of being old, all of us will encounter this
age and we should not see seniors like
a burden. Change preposition
as
Instead
, we should appreciate them and provide them with all facilities
that make them happy and reinforce Correct article usage
the facilities
livelihood
of their lives.Correct article usage
the livelihood
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the issue. It is somewhat unclear which side you are leaning towards until later in the essay.
task achievement
Make sure your arguments are thoroughly explained and supported with relevant examples. Some points need more elaboration and specific examples. Consider discussing both the advantages and disadvantages more evenly.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs to enhance coherence. You may use more transition words to guide your reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs to ensure each has a clear main idea followed by supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure to improve readability and clarity.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good attempt to address the complex issue of an aging population, showing both potential benefits and drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion show a good understanding of the essay structure, making your argument clear.
relevant specific examples
Your personal example about your grandmother adds a nice touch and strengthens your argument about the benefits of having elderly individuals in society.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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