Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Most of the
museums
are needed
to pay when visiting, Wrong verb form
need
however
recently free number Add a comma
however,
of
has Change preposition
apply
raised
. There are great advantages and some of the disadvantages of costless Verb problem
risen
museums
. Museums
can attract people
attention and create equal opportunity for everyone to Change noun form
people's
visit
. On the other
hand
it can be difficult to earn money for Add a comma
hand,
museums
. In this
essay
pros will be Add a comma
essay,
outweighted
Correct your spelling
outweighed
to
cons.
The greatest advantage of free Change preposition
by
museums
is rising
Correct your spelling
raising
people
curiosity. Even Change noun form
people's
they
do not want to Correct word choice
if they
visit
a museum
normally, when they heard
Wrong verb form
hear
about
it is free, they can give that Change preposition
that
museum
at least one chance. For instance
, recently, Beylerbeyi Sarayı was costless and number
of visitors Change the article
a number
the number
that
palace has Change preposition
to that
been
sharply increased. Unnecessary verb
apply
Additionally
, when tickets are free, person
who Add an article
the person
a person
has
not enough ability to go Verb problem
does
museum
can go easily. It is a perfect opportunity especially
for Add the comma(s)
, especially
student
. Fix the agreement mistake
students
For example
when I was in Erasmus most of the museums
was
chargeless, Correct subject-verb agreement
were
therefore
I could visit
the museums
easily.
When museums
are free, it is difficult to earn money for museum
outcomes such
as employee wage
, bills and possible renovation expenses. Fix the agreement mistake
wages
Nevertheless
, there are another
income Correct quantifier usage
other
sorurces
which are additional Correct your spelling
sources
source
exhibition
or Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
governmentel
support. Correct your spelling
governmental
government
Additionally
some art and history lovers Add a comma
Additionally,
supports
the Change the verb form
support
museums
with their volunteer works
in case of need help.
In conclusion, costless Fix the agreement mistake
work
museums
are
not only increase Unnecessary verb
apply
the
attention but Correct article usage
apply
also
give opportunity
to every Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
individuals
to Change to a singular noun
individual
visit
museums
. Make
money is always important for Wrong verb form
Making
continuously
improvement, Change the adverb
continuous
however
that problem can Add a comma
however,
solve
easily with supporters.Many Wrong verb form
be solved
museums
charge for admission while
others are free.
Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums
outweigh the disadvantages?Submitted by xxxx17
on
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coherence-cohesion
Improve your sentence structures to make them more grammatically correct and varied. This will enhance the clarity and coherence of your essay.
task-achievement
Provide more elaboration on both the pros and cons to offer a balanced view. This would improve the depth of your analysis.
coherence-cohesion
Work on using transition words more effectively to ensure smooth progression of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction-conclusion-present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
relevant-specific-examples
You included relevant examples, like the case of Beylerbeyi Sarayı and your personal experience during Erasmus, that illustrate your points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.