Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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Most of the
museums
Use synonyms
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
to pay when visiting,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
recently free number
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
has
raised
Verb problem
risen
show examples
. There are great advantages and some of the disadvantages of costless
museums
Use synonyms
.
Museums
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can attract
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
attention and create equal opportunity for everyone to
visit
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
it can be difficult to earn money for
museums
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
pros will be
outweighted
Correct your spelling
outweighed
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
cons. The greatest advantage of free
museums
Use synonyms
is
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
curiosity. Even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
do not want to
visit
Use synonyms
a
museum
Use synonyms
normally, when they
heard
Wrong verb form
hear
show examples
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
it is free, they can give that
museum
Use synonyms
at least one chance.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently, Beylerbeyi Sarayı was costless and
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of visitors
that
Change preposition
to that
show examples
palace has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sharply increased.
Additionally
Linking Words
, when tickets are free,
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
who
has
Verb problem
does
show examples
not enough ability to go
museum
Use synonyms
can go easily. It is a perfect opportunity
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
for
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
when I was in Erasmus most of the
museums
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
chargeless,
therefore
Linking Words
I could
visit
Use synonyms
the
museums
Use synonyms
easily. When
museums
Use synonyms
are free, it is difficult to earn money for
museum
Use synonyms
outcomes
such
Linking Words
as employee
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
, bills and possible renovation expenses.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
income
sorurces
Correct your spelling
sources
source
which are additional
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
show examples
or
governmentel
Correct your spelling
governmental
government
support.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
some art and history lovers
supports
Change the verb form
support
show examples
the
museums
Use synonyms
with their volunteer
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
in case of need help. In conclusion, costless
museums
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention but
also
Linking Words
give
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
to
visit
Use synonyms
museums
Use synonyms
.
Make
Wrong verb form
Making
show examples
money is always important for
continuously
Change the adverb
continuous
show examples
improvement,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
that problem can
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
easily with supporters.Many
museums
Use synonyms
charge for admission
while
Linking Words
others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to
museums
Use synonyms
outweigh the disadvantages?
Submitted by xxxx17 on

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coherence-cohesion
Improve your sentence structures to make them more grammatically correct and varied. This will enhance the clarity and coherence of your essay.
task-achievement
Provide more elaboration on both the pros and cons to offer a balanced view. This would improve the depth of your analysis.
coherence-cohesion
Work on using transition words more effectively to ensure smooth progression of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction-conclusion-present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
relevant-specific-examples
You included relevant examples, like the case of Beylerbeyi Sarayı and your personal experience during Erasmus, that illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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