In many countries around the world , young people decide to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays the trend of leaving their parent's home to live on their own or with friends after completion of
the
school is increasing. In my opinion, Correct article usage
apply
this
is a negative development because this
might bring misunderstanding between
the family members and it could be arduous to live alone.
Change preposition
among
Firstly
, home is where all the family members reside together and get to see each other everyday
. In fact, they share meals together and have daily conversations. Replace the word
every day
However
, this
is sacrificed if they are to live separately. Even a day of living apart may have brought a lot of things to work for, imagine living apart for months and years and forever, a lot of changes might have occurred. The regular love and care they used to share are missed . Parents
might get older and older and who would be taking care of them? Parents
living and looking after their children for so long will be sad to live alone at home. For instance
: children might fail to know the diseased condition of their parents
unless they were
informed if they are living too far from each other without contact. Their absence during hard times can affect their relationship and weaken the bonding.
Wrong verb form
are
Secondly
, it is unsafe for children to live alone or with friends unless they are financially strong and well experienced about
the work. They are still too young after Change preposition
in
the
school Correct article usage
apply
who
Correct word choice
and
were
living under Wrong verb form
are
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
parents
support for almost everything. Change noun form
parents'
parent's
Moreover
, many monsterous
activities like Correct your spelling
monstrous
a
rape Remove the article
apply
is
a threat Correct subject-verb agreement
are
for
a girl child. Change preposition
to
For instance
, in some parts of India and Nepal, the rate is increasing every year because of lack
of strict laws within Correct article usage
the lack
in
the country. The girls living alone are becoming the victims. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, it is not wise to live alone until you have strong security.
In conclusion, living separately can be a hindrance to good relationships and can be a mistake to live away while
we can still be with our parents
.Submitted by raialon4047 on
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task achievement
While the essay mentions key points, expanding and providing more detailed explanations, as well as examples, could enhance clarity and effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea. This will make your argument easier to follow and improve overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument effectively.
task achievement
The writing addresses both potential emotional and practical concerns regarding living separately from parents, which is comprehensive.