The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
This
below chart Correct determiner usage
The
illustrate
the given data in different Change the verb form
illustrates
area
and Fix the agreement mistake
areas
kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
dance
clases
of Correct your spelling
classes
class
teenager
people in the Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
twon
of Australia Correct your spelling
town
two
are
recently attending.we can Verb problem
have
See
that the Fix capitalization
see
area
of the dance
of Privade
studios is twice as much Correct your spelling
Private
then
the school halls.Correct your spelling
than
Furthermore
, the college -based
studios Add a hyphen
college-based
occupaid
one-tenth Correct your spelling
occupied
area
of all over the area
is much less than others.Also
the commonity
halls and Correct your spelling
community
other
Change the wording
another area
other areas
area
coverd
the Correct your spelling
covered
covers
area
upto 18%is
higher than collage-based studios and less than the remaining.
Correct your spelling
18% is
Furthermore
, this
chart display
Correct subject-verb agreement
displays
Correct word choice
that teenager
teenager
those Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
upto
11-16 years Correct your spelling
to
in
ballet Correct word choice
old in
dance
are extremly
less than Correct your spelling
extremely
onder
11 years In Correct your spelling
those
the
tap Correct article usage
apply
dance
there is no huge differencein
Correct your spelling
difference in
number
of Correct article usage
the number
student
there Fix the agreement mistake
students
is
420 under whose age vis 11-18 Attend the class and under 11 is neay to 470 Students . Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Ther
ratio of Correct your spelling
The
stodent
in modern Correct your spelling
student
students
dance
is under lees near to twice of gear to 11-16.
In conclusion, the private studiois
much Correct your spelling
studio is
studios
area
than others also
if we see the types of dance
only in modern diance
the Correct your spelling
dance
teenageer
of Age11-16 Correct your spelling
teenager
teenagers
greate
than under 11.Correct your spelling
greater
Submitted by khastafojiii on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, furthermore".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, dance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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