because of many reasons like work and migration or many other reasons, some of them see that in future
people
may
can
Verb problem
be able to
show examples
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
the new roads and inside
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. some countries are not that big they can go for
holidays
in the
country
. in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
do not agree with them, the reason that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
disagree
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
is that most
people
are not in the same
country
with their
famiries
Correct your spelling
families
because
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
or any other reason.
Submitted by kndr112231 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Start with an introduction where you introduce your main point. Follow this with body paragraphs that each focus on a single idea or reason, providing examples and explanations. Finally, conclude by summarizing your points and reiterating your argument.
task achievement
Try to make your argument clearer by elaborating on your points. Provide specific examples or reasons that help explain why you believe that more people will or won’t choose to go on holidays in their own country in the future.
linguistic accuracy
Improve the language accuracy and variety to make your points clearer. Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling to enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have expressed a clear opinion on the topic, which is the first step in building a persuasive argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay touches upon relevant points such as work, migration, and transportation infrastructure, which are important factors in the discussion.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
News and goods are increasingly needed for delivery in little or no time. The writer believes this stems from an unwillingness to wait and has a positive impact on human society as it improves current technology.
Even if there is a lot of work out centers, passive lifestyle is becoming widespread worldwide. This essay will discuss the problems associated with sedentary lifestyle and suggest possible solutions to address them. Inactive way of living causes an increase in health problems such as obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases among the population. The possible solution could be inserting mandatory physical activities in people’s lives by equipping their workplaces with special tools for their physical training.
In many areas, seniors are more valuable than the youth, whereas there is opposition in different nations. I would contend that the youth is more essential, while others belive that older people are far more crucial.
These days, mobile phone has become an integral part of our lives and people generally, use it for personal as well as for professional work. Our dependence on it have increased many folds. Therefore, it is difficult to say which use is ideal personal or professional. Hence, I am having a balanced view on this notion and reasons to support my stance are elaborated in the following paragraphs