because of many reasons like work and migration or many other reasons, some of them see that in future
people
may
can
Verb problem
be able to
show examples
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
the new roads and inside
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. some countries are not that big they can go for
holidays
in the
country
. in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
do not agree with them, the reason that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
disagree
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
is that most
people
are not in the same
country
with their
famiries
Correct your spelling
families
because
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
or any other reason.
Submitted by kndr112231 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Start with an introduction where you introduce your main point. Follow this with body paragraphs that each focus on a single idea or reason, providing examples and explanations. Finally, conclude by summarizing your points and reiterating your argument.
task achievement
Try to make your argument clearer by elaborating on your points. Provide specific examples or reasons that help explain why you believe that more people will or won’t choose to go on holidays in their own country in the future.
linguistic accuracy
Improve the language accuracy and variety to make your points clearer. Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling to enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have expressed a clear opinion on the topic, which is the first step in building a persuasive argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay touches upon relevant points such as work, migration, and transportation infrastructure, which are important factors in the discussion.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
Music can be a stress relief for a lot of people and people can enjoy music in almost every occasions with a vast range of genres. Personally, i side with some people who agree with music as one of the coping stress and anxiety. In this essay, I will talk about how music is good for our well-being and important to relieve stress and anxiety.
Nowadays, exploration of the galaxy is becoming more popular in many countries compared to spending money on quality of life. I am inclined to partially agree with the notion that governments should spend more investment on Earth.
Nowadays, there is an ongoing issue regarding the abolishment of public parks for commuters. Some people assert that the government has to remove the public parks near the center of a city and instead build public facilities to encourage employment or improve transport systems for commuters because sometimes the shared space for the community between the high-rise buildings interrupts workers' commute. They argue that making room for new workplaces or developing transport is more effective for commuting and it would be helpful to the socio-economy. According to an announcement by the government, the number of people using parks is declining these days because of severe dust in the air. Thus, they argue it is better to establish new spaces for workers rather than disburse the expenditures for managing the parks.
There is no denying the fact that learning new languages for pupils are crucial to improve life skills and gain new knowledge and they can help them in various aspects in their life.While a commonly held belief teaching childrens new language in first schools year are significant to imporve their skils in many aspects,There is also an argument that learning new langauge in elemntery school can become more difficult for kids.
An increasing number of individuals today opt to live alone, particularly in the large cities of developed countries. Although some people believe that living alone can have some positive effects, I favour those who consider this trend will have a negative impact on society.