Some people say that what children watch influences their behaviour. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their be haviour most. Discuss both vie ws and give your opinion.
There are opposite ideas about the negative effects of watching
TV
on Use synonyms
children
's behaviour. Some people believe that they can much more influenced by the content of Use synonyms
TV
programs, Use synonyms
while
others are of the opinion that the amount of Linking Words
time
they have been spent is more significant. I completely agree with the former.
On the one hand, there are a number of primary reasons why spending too much Use synonyms
time
in front of a Use synonyms
TV
screen would be harmful to Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, they can easily get addicted to Linking Words
TV
shows and lose their interpersonal Use synonyms
communications
. Fix the agreement mistake
communication
This
is because they tend to be alone and spend most of their Linking Words
time
with Use synonyms
TV
Use synonyms
instead
of playing with others. Linking Words
Therefore
, they will suffer from not only psychological disorders Linking Words
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
physical problems Linking Words
due to
having a sedentary lifestyle, if they do not tackle Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
this
problem Linking Words
in
Change preposition
at
younger
age. Correct article usage
a younger
For example
, if a child can not communicate with peers efficiently in school, will not be able to find a decent job in adulthood Linking Words
due to
the reason that communication skill is the bedrock of most careers. Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
while
it might be true that wasting too much Linking Words
time
as a couch potato can make a long-lasting impact on the behaviour of Use synonyms
children
, I believe that what they watch is more remarkable.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, I am firmly convinced that Linking Words
children
can easily influenced by the content of Use synonyms
TV
programs. The reason is that they own curious brains and they can not differentiate which shows are appropriate for their age bracket, Use synonyms
therefore
being exposed to adult content would make a lasting impression on them. Action movies are a shining example of Linking Words
this
issue, Linking Words
children
are more prone to do illegal actions or crimesUse synonyms
,
because they can not recognise the reality and virtual conditions. Remove the comma
apply
This
is why the quality of programs plays a crucial role in the Linking Words
behavior
of Change the spelling
behaviour
children
.
In conclusion, I reaffirm my idea about the importance of what Use synonyms
children
are allowed to watch in comparison to the amount of Use synonyms
time
they are glued to the screen. The reason is that their creative and curious mind tend to expand their knowledge about what they have seen even if it is not fit Use synonyms
to
them.Change preposition
for
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grammar
There are a few grammar mistakes and awkward sentence structures. For example, 'they can much more influenced by' should be corrected to 'they can be much more influenced by'. Also, 'the amount of time they have been spent' should be corrected to 'the amount of time they spend.'
clarity
Your argument structure is logically sound, but make sure to explicitly define some key ideas. For instance, in the second body paragraph, explain what constitutes 'adult content' and how exactly it impacts children.
structure
You've clearly presented both views, and your opinion is stated unequivocally which strengthens your argument.
examples
Your essay contains relevant and specific examples which help illustrate your points well.