Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations

In modern society, most individuals are working in organizations. Among them, a part of

employees

are expected to working the same organization for their whole working life.

While

others are willing to change their occupations over the years.

This

essay will argue that the pros and cons of these thoughts. Working at the same company throughout the entire working period is provided the specific advantages. These particular

employees

have an entire knowledge about the processes of the specific company.

In addition

to that, the employer would be identified as a loyal

employee

Consequently

, those beliefs of employers

Change the verb form

are

show examples

provided with

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better recognition, specific wage rates and

also

higher job security with considerable retirement benefits.

However

, these types of

employee's

Fix the agreement mistake

employees'

show examples

knowledge and

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

will be

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

narrow. Since they do have not enough experience in various business cultures they have to stay in the same process.

Therefore

, it is harder to

adopt

Correct your spelling

adapt

show examples

the society.

Moreover

, being an

employee

in several companies over the years has obtained crucial strengths for an

employee

's career path. It will receive a range of skills in various categories. For example, one of my friends has worked in three organizations in the

last

five years as an accountant.

Hence

she was able to learn about the three separate accounting packages.

Such

as SAP, AccPack and MyOB.

Further

, these types of

employees

pave the way for higher salary rates year by year based on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

industry norms. In conclusion, both types of

employees

have a mix of advantages and challenges with their selections.

According to

my point of view, the contribution to several organizations will be provided with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better career development

while

enhancing personal attitudes.

However

, the success of a career will depend on the commitment towards the organization.

Submitted by dilkiapsara on Sun Sep 01 2024

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Grammar

Review and correct grammatical errors and typos to enhance readability and clarity.

Coherence

Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to improve cohesion.

Support

Provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen arguments.

Task Response

The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and provides a clear opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame the essay.

Support

Relevant specific example (friend working in three organizations) is effectively used to support the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Longevity
Corporate ladder
Adaptability
Comfort zone
Professional network
Diverse skill set
Industry exposure
Innovation
Resilience
Seniority
Job market
Career trajectory
Company culture
Professional growth
Job security
Promotion prospects
Cross-functional experience

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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

To succeed in business, one needs to learn and know math. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Research shows that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, advertising for certain food products should be banned, in the same way as cigarette advertising is banned in many countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree？