governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is said that
governments
should spend money on railways
rather than roads
. I strongly disagree with this
statements
because of the societal need Fix the agreement mistake
statement
to
all infrastructure.
Many Change preposition
for
people
like to travel with
their own vehicles Change preposition
in
due to
being more convenience
and Replace the word
convenient
comfortale
. Correct your spelling
comfortable
As a result
, they need to drive in
Change preposition
on
roads
with
good condition. If the Change preposition
in
governments
should
not pay enough attention to Verb problem
do
roads
, car accidents, and other trouble events may happen and people
Change noun form
people's
life
may be threatened .Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For example
, in my country, Iran, there was alot
of car accidents especially on holidays because of Correct your spelling
a lot
roads
. They Correct article usage
the roads
didnot
have adequate lights or guardrails. The government started to invest huge Correct your spelling
did not
amount
of money Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
for
improving Change preposition
in
roads condition
by making highways. Today, Fix the agreement mistake
road conditions
this
implement has been able to save thousands people's
Change preposition
of people's
life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
However
a
society requires Correct article usage
apply
to
Change preposition
apply
railways
as a part of their transportation system due
to Change preposition
apply
preventing
problems that vehicles mostly cause. The prevention of using fossil fuels is the best example for Wrong verb form
prevent
discribing
the Correct your spelling
describing
impoartance
of Correct your spelling
importance
railways
. Global warming and changing climate are threats that result from using these kind
of fuels. They put our planet at Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
risks
and the Fix the agreement mistake
risk
govenments
Correct your spelling
government
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
responssible
for them. The development of Correct your spelling
responsible
railways
Fix the agreement mistake
railway
infarstructure
is the part of Correct your spelling
infrastructure
governments'
duty for Change noun form
government's
this
responssibility
.
In conclusion, I think the Correct your spelling
responsibility
governments
should invest in both ways of transportation, roads
and railways
, because of the preservation of people
's life
and the prevention of using more fossil fuels.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by hg1984 on
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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points necessary to address the prompt, but it would benefit from a clearer structure and more comprehensive development of each point. Consider splitting longer sentences and providing more detailed explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all sentences flow logically and smoothly from one to the next. At times, the connections between your points could be clearer. Using transitional words and phrases will help improve this aspect.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, but it can be strengthened by more explicitly restating your position. This reinforces your argument to the reader.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples that support your points, such as the example from Iran about improving road conditions. This strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This aids in the overall readability and coherence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite