Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is often argued that if we live in time
people
have more choices than before, I really agree with
this
statement because of the internet effect. Everything has improved from before. So,
this
essay will discuss first how
this
statement is true,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
, will discuss how is it wrong in
people
’s view. Some
people
see that we have today many chances in every section, it is true because of the revolution on the internet.
For example
, today you can easily open a business in your home without getting permission from anyone,
also
you can buy and sell many things through the internet, you can learn any skill to improve yourself and your knowledge
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
then
you can apply to any job
while
you are in
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
, and you will receive your application.
Furthermore
, it is
easily
Change the word
easy
show examples
to find chances these days
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
people
believe that nowadays we lost many choices
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with the past,
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
AI
took
Wrong verb form
has taken
show examples
most of the jobs from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
in many sections like programming or building houses and it is close to
see
Change the verb form
seeing
show examples
a robot in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
field,
also
, many
people
does not educate enough so if they didn’t find a job it means that there is no chance In conclusion, many
people
think that if there is a
chances
Change the noun form
chance
show examples
or not, it’s not about that, in my point of view I think you need to have
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough education and have many good skills and efficiency you will easily find a good chance.
Submitted by bcynfn159 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on refining the logical flow of ideas to make the essay more coherent and cohesive. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Expand on and clarify your main points to present clearer, more comprehensive ideas. Providing more specific examples relevant to the topic would strengthen your response.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a structured response.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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