Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices

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It is often argued that if we live in time

people

have more choices than before, I really agree with

this

statement because of the internet effect. Everything has improved from before. So,

this

essay will discuss first how

this

statement is true,

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

, will discuss how is it wrong in

people

’s view. Some

people

see that we have today many chances in every section, it is true because of the revolution on the internet.

For example

, today you can easily open a business in your home without getting permission from anyone,

also

you can buy and sell many things through the internet, you can learn any skill to improve yourself and your knowledge

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

then

you can apply to any job

while

you are in

home

Add an article

the home

a home

show examples

, and you will receive your application.

Furthermore

, it is

easily

Change the word

easy

show examples

to find chances these days

Change preposition

show examples

the other

side

Add a comma

side,

show examples

people

believe that nowadays we lost many choices

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

with the past,

for

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

took

Wrong verb form

has taken

show examples

most of the jobs from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

in many sections like programming or building houses and it is close to

see

Change the verb form

seeing

show examples

a robot in

medical

Add an article

the medical

show examples

field,

also

, many

people

does not educate enough so if they didn’t find a job it means that there is no chance In conclusion, many

people

think that if there is a

chances

Change the noun form

chance

show examples

or not, it’s not about that, in my point of view I think you need to have

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

enough education and have many good skills and efficiency you will easily find a good chance.

Submitted by bcynfn159 on Sun Sep 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on refining the logical flow of ideas to make the essay more coherent and cohesive. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

task achievement

Expand on and clarify your main points to present clearer, more comprehensive ideas. Providing more specific examples relevant to the topic would strengthen your response.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a structured response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overwhelmed
decision fatigue
paralysis by analysis
consumerism
globalization
personal autonomy
market saturation
option overload
decision-making process
psychological well-being
buyer's remorse
customization
trade-offs
minimalism
information superhighway

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Fully explain your ideas

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as countries gave developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes why does this happen ? how does this affect society?