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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given bar chart compares data about how many people who have various genders teach at 6 several educational
setting
Fix the agreement mistake
settings
show examples
 in the UK in 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is important that the number of
femals
Correct your spelling
females
female
 who are
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more than the men;
moreover
Linking Words
, most of them work under
college
Correct article usage
the college
show examples
 system.
According to
Linking Words
 the
mailes
Correct your spelling
emails
 graph,
men's
Change noun form
men
show examples
 tend
climbed
Change the verb form
to climb
show examples
frome
Correct your spelling
from
 Nursery to
University
Use synonyms
 owing to the fact that at the start, they are roughly 5% in both nursey and
primery
Correct your spelling
primary
;
then
Linking Words
 it
jump
Change the verb form
jumps
show examples
enourmesly
Correct your spelling
enormously
 to 50% in
secindery
Correct your spelling
secondary
school
Use synonyms
 and it does not have visual changes to collage and privet training
institut
Correct your spelling
institute
 after that leap significantly to 70% for
university
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, women, the main
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
, from
pre-
Correct your spelling
pre--school
school
Use synonyms
 to
university
Use synonyms
 dip
overwhelminglly
Correct your spelling
overwhelmingly
 inasmuch as a number of them work for
pre
Add a hyphen
pre-school
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 and
primery
Correct your spelling
primary
school
Use synonyms
 approximately 95 and 92 per cent.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, their fashion
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 Substantially to the percentage
that is
Linking Words
 almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 sex in these groups
such
Linking Words
 as secondary
school
Use synonyms
,
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
, and privet training
institut
Correct your spelling
institute
;
however
Linking Words
, for
university
Use synonyms
, it is 30%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words university, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender distribution
  • educational setting
  • primary education
  • secondary education
  • nursery school
  • higher education
  • proportion
  • outnumber
  • trend
  • comparison
  • historical factors
  • social influence
  • teaching profession
  • data interpretation
  • balance
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