The Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, with the development of
internet
,there is exponential growth in the field of communication and our ways to connect with each other Add an article
the internet
are
changed too with Verb problem
have
this
. According to
a few people
, this
new approach has many drawbacks, social isolation is one of them. However
, I do not agree with this
notion completely and points to support my stance are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, those who advocate the notion that it is changing social
behaviour of individuals, assert that with more screen Correct article usage
the social
time
people
are barely left with any spare time
. In fact, on an
Correct article usage
apply
average
a human being Add a comma
average,
is spending
5 to 6 hours of their free Wrong verb form
spends
time
infront
of screens daily. To illustrate, Correct your spelling
in front
according to
a survey average internet
surfing time
has increased upto
3 hours per day, as compared to Correct your spelling
up to
early
twenties. Correct article usage
the early
Thus
, human to human
interactions are reduced greatly, as compared to Add a hyphen
human-to-human
past
.
Correct article usage
the past
In
the other hand, those who support the idea that the new communication means are good Change preposition
On
assert
that Add the particle
to assert
this
way is bridging gaps among people
. As a matter of fact, it enables people
to stay in touch with each other, irrespective to
the distance between them and loved ones. Change preposition
of
For example
, a person living in the US can connect with his parents and friends living in India any
Change preposition
at any
time
. Hence
, it is not right to say that the internet
is stoping
Correct your spelling
stopping
people
to socialize
.
Change preposition
from socializing
To sum up
, it is right to say that the internet
has reduced the productive use of free time
like meeting people
in person. But it allows people
to stay in touch with each other without thinking about distances
between them.Correct article usage
the distances
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points. Adding more detailed examples and explanations will make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to review your grammar and punctuation for small mistakes, such as missing spaces after commas and in consistent capitalization.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, which is crucial for a good essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow between paragraphs is well-maintained, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which makes your argument more compelling.