The Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, with the development of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
,there is exponential growth in the field of communication and our ways to connect with each other
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
changed too with
this
.
According to
a few
people
,
this
new approach has many drawbacks, social isolation is one of them.
However
, I do not agree with
this
notion completely and points to support my stance are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, those who advocate the notion that it is changing
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
behaviour of individuals, assert that with more screen
time
people
are barely left with any spare
time
. In fact, on
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average
Add a comma
average,
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a human being
is spending
Wrong verb form
spends
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5 to 6 hours of their free
time
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
of screens daily. To illustrate,
according to
a survey average
internet
surfing
time
has increased
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
3 hours per day, as compared to
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
twenties.
Thus
,
human to human
Add a hyphen
human-to-human
show examples
interactions are reduced greatly, as compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand, those who support the idea that the new communication means are good
assert
Add the particle
to assert
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that
this
way is bridging gaps among
people
. As a matter of fact, it enables
people
to stay in touch with each other, irrespective
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the distance between them and loved ones.
For example
, a person living in the US can connect with his parents and friends living in India
any
Change preposition
at any
show examples
time
.
Hence
, it is not right to say that the
internet
is
stoping
Correct your spelling
stopping
show examples
people
to socialize
Change preposition
from socializing
show examples
.
To sum up
, it is right to say that the
internet
has reduced the productive use of free
time
like meeting
people
in person. But it allows
people
to stay in touch with each other without thinking about
distances
Correct article usage
the distances
show examples
between them.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points. Adding more detailed examples and explanations will make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to review your grammar and punctuation for small mistakes, such as missing spaces after commas and in consistent capitalization.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, which is crucial for a good essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow between paragraphs is well-maintained, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which makes your argument more compelling.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • geographical distances
  • real-time communication
  • social media platforms
  • remote work
  • social isolation
  • screen time
  • emotional intelligence
  • digital divide
  • echo chamber
  • diverse perspectives
  • online and offline balance
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