IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvatages?

#rise #media #relationships #society #communication #disadvatages
Due to
 the rapid growth of technology , the world has come a long way
therefore
 the lifestyle of people has changed a lot. Nowadays social media become an integral part of our lives. Social media platform like Facebook Twitter Instagram gives us the opportunity to stay connected to our loved ones without stepping outside of our houses. There is a range of conflicting arguments related to
this
 assertion . A colossal number of people believe that social networking has affected people's personal life
as well as
 social life
whereas
 a school of folk says social media plays a very important role in our life . In the upcoming monograph , I will not only delve into the assertions but
also
 elaborate on my point of view .
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, focus on providing specific examples and more detailed evidence to back up your points. This will help in demonstrating a complete understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Each paragraph should flow seamlessly into the next, and the ideas should be logically connected.
task achievement
Try to use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the quality of your writing.
task achievement
You have clearly stated the importance of social media in modern life, which shows a clear response to the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are logically articulated, providing a solid structure for your essay.
task achievement
There is a reasonable attempt to present both sides of the argument, which helps in delivering a balanced discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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