Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.
While
some individuals believe it is wise to accept a difficult situation
, such
as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money, I firmly support the view that one should strive to improve their circumstances.
On the one hand, accepting a challenging situation
may help some people avoid stress
. Constant stress
can lead to mental health issues, potentially resulting in severe consequences such
as depression or even suicide. For these reasons, some people feel it is safer to accept their current situation
rather than risk worsening their mental state by striving for change. However
, I believe that with proper mental health awareness and support, individuals can manage stress
more effectively, making it unnecessary to resign themselves to unfavorable
conditions.
Change the spelling
unfavourable
On the other hand
, actively trying to improve a bad situation
can lead to unexpected success. For example
, John LBF, a well-known businessman in Indonesia, started as an ordinary marketing staff member in 2020. Through determination and consistent effort over three years, he eventually became a director and gained popularity through social media by sharing his success story. This
example demonstrates the potential rewards of perseverance and self-improvement, even when faced with an unsatisfactory job or other difficult situations.
In conclusion, while
avoiding stress
is a valid reason for some to accept a bad situation
, I strongly believe that striving to improve one's circumstances is far more beneficial, as it can lead to significant and unforeseen successes.Submitted by adittyafatma on
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task achievement
You may strengthen your argument by presenting additional specific examples or evidence, which can make your essay more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your transitions between paragraphs are smoother to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay fully addresses the prompt, providing a clear argument for striving to improve one’s circumstances.
coherence and cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are well-structured and effectively communicate your main point.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example with John LBF's story, which supports your main argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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