Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

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While

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some individuals believe it is wise to accept a difficult

situation

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such

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as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money, I firmly support the view that one should strive to improve their circumstances. On the one hand, accepting a challenging

situation

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may help some people avoid

stress

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. Constant

stress

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can lead to mental health issues, potentially resulting in severe consequences

such

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as depression or even suicide. For these reasons, some people feel it is safer to accept their current

situation

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rather than risk worsening their mental state by striving for change.

However

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, I believe that with proper mental health awareness and support, individuals can manage

stress

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more effectively, making it unnecessary to resign themselves to

unfavorable

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unfavourable

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conditions.

On the other hand

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, actively trying to improve a bad

situation

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can lead to unexpected success.

For example

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, John LBF, a well-known businessman in Indonesia, started as an ordinary marketing staff member in 2020. Through determination and consistent effort over three years, he eventually became a director and gained popularity through social media by sharing his success story.

This

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example demonstrates the potential rewards of perseverance and self-improvement, even when faced with an unsatisfactory job or other difficult situations. In conclusion,

while

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avoiding

stress

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is a valid reason for some to accept a bad

situation

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, I strongly believe that striving to improve one's circumstances is far more beneficial, as it can lead to significant and unforeseen successes.

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task achievement

You may strengthen your argument by presenting additional specific examples or evidence, which can make your essay more compelling.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure your transitions between paragraphs are smoother to enhance the logical flow of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay fully addresses the prompt, providing a clear argument for striving to improve one’s circumstances.

coherence and cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are well-structured and effectively communicate your main point.

task achievement

You provided a relevant example with John LBF's story, which supports your main argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

adversity
resilience
stoicism
contentment
cope
adapt
endure
persevere
settle
ambition
tenacious
determined
resourceful
optimistic
self-improvement
proactive
initiative
transform
overcome
confront

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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Your opinion

Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

These days Internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argure that it is important to study at university. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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