You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the percentage of Australian men in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The charts below show the percentage of Australian men in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014.
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The bar chart illustrates the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
of
Austrailian
Correct your spelling
Australian
men
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
different ages in 1984, 2001 and 2014.
It is clear that
Linking Words
men aged 35 to 44 have the highest
rate
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of
employment
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in all three
years
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. First of all,
employment
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of aged 15
years
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old to 19
years
Use synonyms
old seem to have difficulty getting a job these days as the proportion has a decreasing trend. In 1984 it was around 63%,
then
Linking Words
60% in 2001 and
finally
Linking Words
50% in 2014.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people aged 35
years
Use synonyms
old to 44
years
Use synonyms
old have the highest
rate
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of
employment
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. The figure remains stable for all three
years
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at roughly 90% which is really close to all men getting employed.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
rate
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of employers aged 60
years
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old to 64
years
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old has an upward trend rising from approximately 40% in 1984 to 45% in 2001 and over 50% in 2014. In conclusion, it is seen that
Use synonyms
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
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rate
Use synonyms
in
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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15-19 has a decreasing trend
while
Linking Words
the
rate
Use synonyms
of people in 60-64 has an upward tendency.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
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of employers in 35-44 remains stable.
Submitted by wjddbs2206 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, rate, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment trends
  • age groups
  • significant changes
  • employment rates
  • economic shifts
  • technological advancements
  • societal changes
  • policy-making
  • workforce participation
  • labor market dynamics
  • demographic shifts
  • career longevity
  • early retirement
  • job market competitiveness
  • technological unemployment
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