global organizations should carry about poor countries
Nowadays, more and more individuals keep with a belief that It is international
organizations
' obligation to help other monopolies, while
others consider that these poor countries
should carry about themselves on their own. Although
the organizations
could be more supportable through their influence on the world, countries
should do it by
their own Change preposition
at
expenses
.
National Fix the agreement mistake
expense
organizations
should help other countries
since they have enough both
influence and financial influence all around the world. The Correct pronoun usage
apply
organizations
will take money from other countriescountries
Correct your spelling
countries countries
countries-countries
as well as
ask them to take part in improving these poor monopolies. To be more precise, support will be delivered effectively and quickly, because of the rich monopolies' ability. For instance
, when there was an emergency case with the earthquake in Turkey in 2023, the UN organization took money as taxes from countries
that took part in the organization and sent it to Turkey. Moreover
, some countries
sent their local services for first aid as well. Thus
, the
global Correct article usage
apply
organizations
should take responsibility for poor regions.
On the other hand
, governments which faced with challenges should cope with these issues on their own. Since these global organizations
are concentrated on extended topics such
as climate change or global warming, they should not consider about future of a monopoly. This
region should try to solve problems on their own. For example
, when there are issues on the Earth or a region, organizations
prefer the Earth as a more essential topic to think about, while
a country find solutions through their own clubs. Therefore
, these regions should try to solve difficulties on their own.
In conclusion, although
national organizations
should be concerned about poor areas, there are more important that
take into account the whole world. If a country could escape their challenges, there would not be a need to disrupt Correct pronoun usage
ones that
nor
the government Correct word choice
apply
neither
global Correct word choice
or
organizations
.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Some arguments feel underdeveloped and could benefit from further elaboration.
task achievement
Ensure your essay stays focused on the main topic and avoid ambiguous terms. Terms like 'monopolies' appear misplaced in the context of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more relevant and specific examples to enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and generally clear, providing a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.