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Band 3.5

More and more qualified people are moving from poor countries to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine . some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people , rich countries are stealing from poor countries.others feel that this is the only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. discuss the both points of views.

#people #countries #vacancies #specialist #areas #medicine #movement #part #workers #world #points
When the majority of highly skilled
people
 abandon their home
country
, it is mostly because they aim for a higher living standard. Some countries with high GDP could offer more appealing conditions to skilled
people
 than what their home
country
 could do. In terms of conditions the
country
 could be providing, safety is one of the
big
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
key terms. Countries with low GDP could show higher crime rates, caused by low income,
low-security
Correct your spelling
low security
show examples
 standards, corruption within the police departments and
such
.
Moreover
, the term "safety" includes convenience to hospitals, pharmacies or any other kinds of medical centres. When roads to hospitals
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 played upon highly organised infrastructure, it is far safer than those countries that are not organised. The demand for higher wages can
also
 be discussed as the main point of
this
 topic. The higher the GDP of the
country
, the more basic income can be expected. Some
people
 find the exact same work but higher income in a foreign
country
.
This
 wage gap moves the majority of skilled
people
 out of their home
country
.
On the other hand
, when more and more skilled
people
 move out of their
country
, it the harder to keep up with the
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure to write a conclusion in order to summarize your points and reinforce your main argument.
relevant specific examples
Provide specific examples to support your points, which will strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to maintain more consistent clarity in your ideas. Some points can be expanded further to ensure complete comprehension.
task achievement
The essay addresses the movement of highly skilled individuals from poor to rich countries, which is relevant to the task.
task achievement
Good use of vocabulary related to economics and safety (e.g., GDP, crime rates, infrastructure).
coherence cohesion
Logical structuring of paragraphs that each deal with separate points of the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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