Some people think that universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #universities #numbers #students

Many individuals believe that

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

have

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

quota for both

man

Correct your spelling

male

show examples

and

woman

students in every major. I strongly agree with

this

statement because we must consent about human

right

Fix the agreement mistake

rights

show examples

, every human is equal no matter their gender. In ancient

day

Fix the agreement mistake

days

show examples

to get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

higher

education

such

as in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

university

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

just for

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

while

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

just

get

Wrong verb form

got

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

basic

education

for just to know how to write, read and

math

Add a missing verb

do math

show examples

. That

can happen

Wrong verb form

happened

show examples

because in that era

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

didn't get

chance

Correct article usage

the chance

show examples

get working

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

in high

position

Fix the agreement mistake

positions

show examples

manager

Fix the agreement mistake

managers

show examples

hence

the parents didn't want to spend their money

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

daughter

Fix the agreement mistake

daughters

show examples

education

. The parents just want to spend their money

Change preposition

show examples

their son, because

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

hope their son can get

higher

Correct article usage

a higher

show examples

position in their company with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

higher

education

. In

now days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

where

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human

right

is important, we must think about equality.

Man

Fix the agreement mistake

Men

show examples

and

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

have

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

opportunity to get higher

education

and

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

a job too.

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

must get involved with

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

regulation

Fix the agreement mistake

regulations

show examples

to ensure every

civilians

Change to a singular noun

civilian

show examples

can get

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

opportunity to get higher

education

no matter their gender.

With the

Change preposition

The

show examples

involvement

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

government in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education

giving

Wrong verb form

gives

show examples

a legal standing for civilians to get higher

education

university

Change preposition

show examples

conclusion

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher

education

university

must be

equals

Replace the word

equal

show examples

for both

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

moment

Correct your spelling

women

show examples

because it is about human

right

Fix the agreement mistake

rights

show examples

while

the government must make

regulation

Fix the agreement mistake

regulations

show examples

to ensure

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

give some quota to their male and female student to support

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human

right

Fix the agreement mistake

rights

show examples

this

country.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Mon Sep 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay generally addresses the topic, but it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples and more clearly developed arguments to support your position.

coherence cohesion

There are some areas where your ideas could be linked more smoothly. Try to use more cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph transitions naturally to the next.

coherence cohesion

The points you make in the essay need further development. Try to elaborate on your arguments and provide clearer explanations to strengthen your essay.

task achievement

You have clearly stated your position on the issue, which provides a clear focus for your essay.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your essay and provide structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
53Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Teenagers are prohibited to bring mobile phones to school. To what extend you agree or disagree?
The utilization of mobile phones is efficient depending on the activities. People use phones to surf through the internet, help them with their assignments, and update the issues that are happening around the world. However, it is not really appropriate to bring phones to school. Firstly, some schools apply paper-based teaching. That kind of process supports children to be more active in class naturally by doing discussion face to face, teamwork and improving analytical thinking skills. Imagine if they bring the phone, they would not put their effort to much to the learning process because they would think any kind of task would be solved by phones
6.5
band
The influence of human beings on the world’s ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of the loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?
One of the most imperative environmental concerns in the modern age is the extinction of species and the risk to biodiversity. It is widely believed that humanity should take responsibility for this problem. Although climate change and illegal human activities are negatively impacting wildlife, this issue can be addressed by the governments enacting regulations on poaching and by investing in more conservation programs.
<4
band
The mass media, including TV, radio and newspapers, influences our society and shapes our opinions and characters. What is your opinion?
It is not secret that social media and other kind of sources of information have gread influence to people beheviors and mind. I totally agree with this statement.
6
band
Some people think the main purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society; others say education helps them to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and fiver your opinion.
In this modern world, several communities think the main purpose of school is to make individuals help families and other populations say qualifications can help them achieve personal ambitions. I would like to explain and discuss both views on this topic. I believe that someone who has studied class will have a great opportunity to develop skills. In my opinion, culture is extremely important for a lot of society in life and can give them the best career in the future.
7.5
band
As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Research has shown that the percentage of internet users has risen sharply nowadays. Thus, many people have forgotten the existence of newspapers and choose to read the news on the Internet. Even though this phenomenon occurs, newspapers' value is difficult to be lost for numerous reasons.

Some people think that universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Teenagers are prohibited to bring mobile phones to school. To what extend you agree or disagree?

The influence of human beings on the world’s ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of the loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?

The mass media, including TV, radio and newspapers, influences our society and shapes our opinions and characters. What is your opinion?

Some people think the main purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society; others say education helps them to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and fiver your opinion.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.