Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes and entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes, other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that effect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion:
#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decisions #effect
The issue of allowing
children
to make decision
has a great spot among different groups of people, some individuals believe that permitting young boys to make their own choices would probably Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
led
to selfishness in society, Wrong verb form
lead
while
other
are the view that it is crucial that Fix the agreement mistake
others
children
feel their independence and can make their choices on bases they believe is good. This
essay will examine both perspectives and my opinion which is children
should be able and allowed for making
decisions but with some boundaries.
On the first side of the argument , those who believe that Change preposition
to make
children
should not be given the responsibilities
of Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
decision making
argue that Add a hyphen
decision-making
by
allowing them to choose something that they wantChange preposition
apply
.
Add a missing verb
is.
Children
would surely start misbehaving against the commands which might be made by their family or elders. Furthermore
, this
vision will give them the ability prioritize
their actions and selections over Fix the infinitive
to prioritize
other
which is more Fix the agreement mistake
others
of
Change preposition
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
disrespect
to Replace the word
disrespectful
the
society.
Those who are in favour of letting Correct article usage
apply
children
independent
with regards to the decisions on their daily matters Add a missing verb
be independent
such
as food clothed
and some other activities, argue that psychologically Replace the word
clothes
this
view and way of live
would allow Replace the word
life
children
become
more confident in all Fix the infinitive
to become
aspect
of life.
Since Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
decisions- making
Correct your spelling
decision-making
make
people think of different ideas and Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
help
to get rid of things which are trouble making Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
and
the start is definitely from Correct word choice
apply
this
. Additionally
, they also
point out that forbidding children
from something they fancy would damage their self-esteem which if they become older may fear that their choices may effect
themselves and others.
In my personal view , I think it would be much better to get our Correct your spelling
affect
children
in spot self-realization and give them some chances to choose what matters their
lives but with some limits and precise consideration. So that we make sure they have not picked up the wrong option. Some studies have shown that Change preposition
in their
children
with full anatomy of their lives decisions turned up to become more intelligent and more effective for communities , therefore
there should not be any barrier if a child prefers something over another and considers that good and important for themselves.Submitted by jameslbritt16 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage for the discussion but could be more concise. Try to clarify your thesis statement and ensure it clearly states your opinion. Additionally, improve the connection between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are slightly awkward or unclear. Focus on refining your sentence structure and using more varied vocabulary. This will enhance readability and make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Be sure to fully develop your main points with detailed examples. For instance, provide specific instances or scenarios to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure your arguments are balanced. While you present both views, strive to explore them equally and in-depth. Highlight the pros and cons of each perspective to present a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
You have effectively introduced both sides of the argument and provided clear reasoning behind each viewpoint. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow in your essay, especially between the body paragraphs. Each paragraph focuses on a different aspect of the discussion, which is commendable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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