A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.
Although
many places around the globe depend on tourism
to boost their economy, it can also
have detrimental effects if not taken into account. Tourism
brings foreign currency, and it also
creates more job opportunities, but there are also
drawbacks to be taken into consideration.
Firstly
, one evident benefit of having tourism
is that it brings foreign currency with it. This
currency has more value when converted into local money, thus
it improves the economy of the local people
. Secondly
, tourism
is advantageous because it creates more employment for local people
. There are numerous jobs required, for example
, security guards and cleaners to maintain tourist attractions, Correct word choice
and shop
shop
and food vendors to sell cultural souvenirs and cuisines, which helps improve their income. Fix the agreement mistake
shops
Thirdly
, because of the
Correct article usage
apply
tourism
, historical buildings are well maintained and developed, which requires funds from the government. As a result
, higher authorities are collecting the same amount of taxes from tourists as from local people
.
On the other hand
, one obvious problem that tourism
brings with them is that
environmental pollution because they mostly travel in their personal vehicles rather than public transportation. Correct word choice
apply
For instance
, visitors do not feel comfortable when they travel by bus, they often book a taxi for travelling, which emits more carbon dioxide and pollutes the environment. Another possible issue is that they may disrespect local culture when they visit historical places like temples. Before entering the temple, local people
remove their footwear but sometime
foreigners wear their shoes inside, which would not be respectful Replace the word
sometimes
for
Change preposition
to
local
community.
In conclusion, Add an article
the local
while
tourism
brings a number of benefits into
the country, it can Change preposition
to
also
lead to environmental pollution and be the reason to disrespect local cultures.Submitted by parmarheena277254 on
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task achievement
Consider expanding on each point with additional specific examples or statistics to further substantiate your arguments. Moreover, ensure a balance between the discussion of benefits and drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, try to create more seamless transitions between points and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. This will improve the overall readability.
general
Work on varying your sentence structures to avoid repetition and to make your writing more engaging. Additionally, address minor grammatical and typographical errors to ensure clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which provides a strong structure.
task achievement
You covered both the positive and negative aspects of tourism, providing a comprehensive response to the prompt.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the topic and are logically supported.