some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. what do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?

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In the contemporary epoch, some individuals believe that it is more favourable for students to stay at home and merely play until the end of their childhood.
In contrast
, other people's opinions say they must go to school at an early age. Two of the benefits associated with
this
belief are as follows. First of all, the socialization of
children
, which is very crucial for having more
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
and convenience in their future, can be thrived by taking part in society and especially schools or kindergartens.
In addition
, communication among
children
has brought significant improvement in their learning.
Children
who forge intimate relationships with their classmates easily can usefully cooperate in solving and recognizing problems.
Although
initially
, it might be difficult for
children
who are young to stay in an unaccustomed place with students whom they do not have any knowledge , it can develop their communication skills.
Furthermore
,
that is
acceptable truth that the brain flourishing is a vital issue which is inextricably intertwined with the amount of utilizing it.
Hence
, not only
doeschildren
Correct your spelling
does children
participation have negative effects, but
alsoit
Correct your spelling
also it
also
is very
helpfulin
Correct your spelling
helpful in
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
cleverness. Obviously, the more
smartstudentshave
Correct your spelling
smart students have
, the more considerable success will be predicted for them.
For instance
,
children
who come across to studying and taking an exam in their childhood understand regulation soon.
Thus
, despite numerous disagreements with the highlighted opinion, the advantages of participating in school prior to 6 or 7 years old outweigh its drawbacks. Effective communication and realizing and solving complicated problems are the clear consequences of these tendencies.
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your main points. This would strengthen your argument and make your ideas clearer.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help to make your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly sets out the main topic, and consider summarizing your key points in the conclusion. This would provide a clearer structure to your essay.
task achievement
You presented a clear argument for the benefits of children attending school from a young age.
coherence cohesion
The essay had a logical structure with appropriate paragraphing, which made it easy to follow your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay covered key aspects of the topic, such as socialization and cognitive development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socialization
  • peer interaction
  • academic foundation
  • literacy
  • numeracy
  • structured environment
  • discipline
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • diversity
  • perspectives
  • acceptance
  • educational resources
  • extracurricular activities
  • learning experience
  • early identification
  • learning disabilities
  • intervention
  • support
  • assistance
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