Many people argue that learning foreign languages should be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, many schools are teaching foreign
languages
as an essential subject. Plus, some people claim that this
tendency should be required in all schools. However
, I do not agree with this
statement because, while
learning other non-essential languages
at school
, students might have
burnt and stressed sometimes. Verb problem
be
Nevertheless
, we should consider that multilingualism can give great opportunities while
searching for a job.
On the one hand, teaching foreign languages
in schools might provide job opportunities and improvements in communication skills. For instance
, these many highly qualified international companies require use
of English or the language which they speak to Add an article
the use
enroll
. Admittedly, my country, Kazakhstan, has been a colony of the Russian empire for a Change the spelling
enrol
while
, and, consequently
, the majority of people should have learnt Russian along with
Kazakh. Additionally
, bioscientists reckon that multilingualism can enhance people’s brain cells because, if individuals learn another language, their brain works better when it comes to choosing a correct word while
speaking.
On the other hand
, learning another language in school
might have its downsides for students' mental health. For example
, when students struggle with plenty of tasks that are given by the school
, they may be depressed because Add the comma(s)
, in
in
Change preposition
during
school
time, scholars often come
weak Verb problem
become
for
mental issues. Change preposition
because of
Moreover
, the main disadvantage that can be caused by teaching foreign languages
is young
generations’ probability of losing their national identities. Actually, Correct article usage
the young
this
tendency causes many problems in the unity of the society.
In conclusion, there are many upsides of
teaching foreign Change preposition
to
languages
at school
, and they start with finding a job with good opportunities and end with the
improvements in the brain cells. Correct article usage
apply
However
, I disagree with the opinion which lifts the idea that teaching other languages
at school
is mandatory.Submitted by writingiletschecker on
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task achievement
While the essay covers the topic well and presents relevant points, strive to ensure your arguments are more detailed and fully developed. Consider providing more specific examples where necessary.
task achievement
Try to maintain a clear and consistent stance throughout your essay. While your position is clear, some of your supporting points could be more directly related to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between your paragraphs and within your ideas. The essay might benefit from better transitions and more cohesive arguments that tie back to your main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences work towards developing that idea. Occasionally, the connection between sentences could be stronger to enhance overall coherence.
task achievement
Your intention to consider multiple perspectives is clear and well-presented, which is a strength of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is recognizable, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps to maintain good coherence.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, such as the situation in Kazakhstan, which helps to make your points more concrete.