IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014
#change #prices #three #metals
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The given line graph depicts the average monthly change in prices of three metals (Copper,
Nickel
Use synonyms
,
Zinc
Correct word choice
and Zinc
show examples
) during 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
Nickel
Use synonyms
 had the highest price at the start
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 January. But it has decreased significantly by twice.
However
Linking Words
, Copper and Zinc fluctuated. In January
Nickel
Use synonyms
 started at 7%. Next 5 months it dropped dramatically to -3%. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it rose to -1%.
Subsequently
Linking Words
 was stable until September.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
Nickel
Use synonyms
 had
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
 growth
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1%.
Finally
Linking Words
, Copper had 2%
initially
Linking Words
, after it fell to 0.5% in June.
Then
Linking Words
, it had an upward trend with a slight change to 1.5% in the end. Zinc had a similar situation. It started at 1%, next month improved rapidly to 3%. But
then
Linking Words
, it decreased considerably to -1%.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 4 months stabilized at -1%.
Then
Linking Words
 doubled to 1.5% in November. In December it finished at 2%.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words nickel with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
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